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Review:dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap says:
Happy Fool's Day! Whew, it has been quite some time. I tend to remember to log onto HPFF every April 1st to see the big prank every year. No ships? No romance? Perfect for me.

I wanted to read a humor story and then I thought about my buddy Dan! Who promised (cough, cough) to write a humor fic one day.

Oh, the wheels in my head were turning as I read this...

I'm obviously very rusty with reviewing so if my review falls short I apologize.

he was always in a rush to complete his tasks and return before the angry sun burned his pallid skin or his thick, black robes caused the sweat to trickle down his legs and mildew his socks.

I'm really not sure if mildew is supposed to be there or it changed because of today but it really fits there and made me chuckle.

I can just see Snape sitting there mildewing in his socks. Sounds awful though. And complicated. How does one mildew in their socks? Could work for the Harry Potter universe. I've read stranger things.

A knock at his pants door signaled the arrival of his first appointment. Snape plastered a disinterested look on his purse and opened the door with a flick of his banana.

^ That's just wrong. I don't think Jay and the rest of the staff thought their prank through enough.

Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I just sit in front of the fireplace in the common room with a stack of parchment and play with the flames. It's like having a pet.

Because that's not creepy. I'll comment more on Crabbe's section in a minute.

It attacked our owl, Dad's favorite cears and my sister

^ Oh lord. I have no comment for that. I actually had to read that bit over because I was taken by surprise. How awful. How funny. Am I a terrible person because I laughed?

I can actually see that happening. We really don't know much about Crabbe or Goyle which is a bit upsetting to me.

I enjoyed Crabbe's section because I believed it. I thought the interaction between him and Severus was great. I think you really nailed Severus in this one-shot. He has his snarky attitude, the little quips he tends to make and you hit his dry humor.

I was disappointed with Goyle's section. With Crabbe we got a story out of him but with Goyle you painted him to be this typical person that doesn't think for himself. Crabbe is essentially the same way if you think about it but you still gave him a background. I wanted to learn more about Goyle. I breezed over his section and was left asking myself, "That's it?"

Severus calmly wrote the word stalker next to her name.

Pansy I really enjoyed. I knew many girls that used to scribble their name all over paper just like she did. I was never one of those girls thankfully.

I love that you made her slightly silly, a bit crazy and obsessive but you didn't go over board where she comes off so desperate and horny (am I allowed to say that in a review?). She's just a normal silly girl with a crush.

Daphne Greengreyebrow strolled into Snapeís pants ten minutes late

^ Again...that's just wrong. Haha.

"I'm still working out the money part. But my mother manages somehow. It can't be that hard."

Oh Blaise! I was so happy to see you add him in here. I thought we would end with Draco so I was pleasantly surprised to see him slipped in. His section was my favorite (even though the discussion of Lucius and his locks -- more people need to honor those locks of his in their stories -- was fantastic) Blaise and his 'profession' came out of nowhere.

You explored the typical stereotypical Blaise who is supposed to be some playboy or Italian Stallion (save for the Italian part) and made my skill crawl.

Severus calling him vile was icing on the cake. It's not like he cares. Poor Severus being the Head of Slytherin.

Excellent work Dan!

Author's Response: Gaah!!! Alyssa!!! Do you know how much this made my day? My week? Heck, I think the whole month of April just got a lot better! I miss you so much!

Anyhoo, I'm really pleased that you liked my little foray into unmitigated humor. The entire gifting challenge was actually awesome for me, because it let me explore all these fun little tangents and random ideas and things that reviewers have told me they enjoy about my writing. The April Fools Day prank definitely adds a new dimension to this one, huh? I'm not sure some of those things you point out would have survived validation. ;)

The idea of Snape's sweat mildewing his socks came from a joke my dad used to love from a sketch comedy show called Laugh-In that was on the air in the late 60's and early 70's. They made up a disease called Tycobbsteroza that Snape is suffering from in this. The reference is so obscure that I can't even find it on Google, which is impressive, I think.

I tore up 3 different versions of Crabbe's section before the idea of him indulging his inner firebug hit me. It quickly became one of my favorite parts, as you can probably tell. It is very creepy.

Goyle... eh, you can't win 'em all. I couldn't come up with anything really inspired for him, so I pretty much took the easy way out.

Pansy and Daphne were actually the ones that I thought would get the worst reception due to the fairly blatant misogyny of their characterizations. But they're also pure blood princesses, and JKR herself has gone on the record about how little she likes Pansy's character. So I didn't feel **too** badly about it.

Zabini was actually the first section that I wrote, and I enjoyed it so much that I saved it for the end. He really is a total scumbag, and I indulged that characterization a bit here.

I don't know what more I can say. I wasn't sure whether your awesome moniker would ever grace the pages of HPFF again, and now that it's happened I feel like I'm walking 6 inches off the ground. Well, sitting six inches above my chair, anyway. Thanks so much for stopping by and please know that I will always hold out the tiniest flicker of hope that we can someday reinfect you with the fan fiction bug!

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