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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
*gasp!* Into the thick of things already, I see!

So, you mentioned that English isn't your first language... I hardly would've guessed!!

...Okay, I wouldn't have guessed at all. I've been speaking English all my life, and I STILL mess up a lot. It is a rather confusing, crazy language!

But down to the story:

What has happened to Harry Potter?! Where has he gone?! Is he dead? Did they kick him out?! SO MANY QUESTIONS. But that's a good thing--keep all of us guessing! :)

You've set everything up very nicely; I can already tell that this story will be quite a doozy! I would like to know exactly who this "he" is and what his wife did to deserve murder. That's another question that you've left me with!

One suggestion that I have, however, is that you tighten up your syntax a little bit. It's quite difficult, I've found, to say what you need to say without overwhelming the reader with superfluous adjectives and extra clauses. In this chapter, I see that you've almost got it just right, but there are a few ambiguous parts that need just a touch of love and care. It doesn't take away anything from the actual plot line, though, so it's no major grievance! :)

All in all, this was a great opening to what I'm sure will be a great story!

Cheers!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: First of all, thank you so much for doing this, and for doing it so quickly! I really, really appreciate it :)

I'm glad you thought the English was good. I try my best, but there is still room for a lot of improvement ;)

I'll try to take a second look at the sentence structure to make it better. I'm glad you pointed it out, and I will definitely take it into account.

I'm so glad that you liked it! It makes me so happy :)

Thank you again for your review, I appreciate it so much!


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