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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! I'm here already for your review request! :)

And... wow, this is right into the thick of things, isn't it?! Rose and Lily have similar secrets, and hopefully Lily's won't turn out the way that Rose's did!

I liked the way you set up the story, with Lily feeling sick and having all of these symptoms that she hasn't quite put together yet. And then... BOOM, she puts it all together, and the story really gets going!

This chapter was pretty well-written, however (me being the grammar Nazi that I am...) I do see that you've mixed up some "your"s and "you're"s, as well as a few other minor things. Not to worry, though, it didn't detract from the story at all!

A thing that I would've like to see (and it's probably coming in later chapters) is maybe a flashback of events that led up to Lily's pregnancy. As in, her beginning to date Jake, and then maybe right before they had their little tryst (I'm certain that I don't really want to know the details of their tryst...). It would just be nice to have a bit more of a vivid backstory.

All in all, a very good chapter!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Wow that was fast!
Hey,

Yep, they have similar secrets and I'm glad to say Lily's isn't going to same way as Rose's.

BOOM, she's pregnant. I think once you've added it all up, I'm pretty sure you can guess the outcome.

I'll be sure to go and edit/check over.

Yes it's in later chapters, flashbacks of that day it happened.

Thank you!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x


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