The beginning was brilliant! I already have my suspicions about who the intruder could be, well the my suspicion is thatís Tom Riddle, though I do feel a little biased accusing just because of what he turns out to be later on in life but you never know. I liked seeing Grimmís affections for Minerva from another eye, it made a nice change, and it showed me how much he did love her.
I enjoyed the chess scene, it seemed so them to play it. I liked their respective comments about each otherís houses, as it was so true that Gryffindors enjoy winning far too much. She is rather curious girl though, and like Grimm, I can never predict what she may do next. I think thatís part of the reason why I really love your characterisation of her, as the mystery behind her actions is great.
I also really liked the inclusion of the canon things. It was interesting to see that dispute between Olive and Myrtle was so well known that Minerva commented on it. They had such different views on how to handle the situation. I never imagined that Grimm would be the Bolshevik, as he comes from a more prestigious background, and I would have thought that role would go to Minerva.
I liked the foreshadowing of Grimm having this sense of calm, and he finding it bemusing that he would feel like that. Then of course he discovers the storm the intruder caused in his room. It seemed fitting that he felt so scared, and confused about what had happened, and I thought you captured his emotions about it brilliantly.
You could tell that he was taking this situation very seriously by him going to Dumbledore about it. I never would have thought the day would come when he willing went and spoke to him, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Dumbledore was perfectly in character, and the way he wasnít take sides initially and attempting to solve the crime without accusations was great.
So Minerva has some mystery behind her then? I wonder how her brother died, and why in France of all the places? I hope we get to find out soon. I think she would make an excellent addition to the Holyhead Harpies, she seems so head strong like the rest of the team, and I can just imagine her fitting in with them perfectly. I think she should give up on analysing Grimmís actions both of them are so complex it would take their entire life to solve each other.
Yay Hagrid made an appearance! Iím guessing that the creature he was with was Aragog? I forgot that the chamber of secrets hadnít been opened yet, and I canít wait to see all the drama when it does open. I liked the hints about the war brewing outside the castle with Grindelwald, as it makes you realise there were dark times in the wizarding world before Voldemort came along too.
I liked the quote from Shakespeare, I thought it was great! And all the drama unfolding about the mystery of the intruder. I can imagine Grimm and Minerva being good detectives together, and I canít wait to see if they can solve this mystery or not!
Another excellent chapter!
Author's Response: It's fantastic to hear from you again! Your reviews are so positive that I don't know how to respond except to thank you profusely for your kindness. ^_^
I had to look back at the chapter to understand all of the things you were discussing here, and can I say that I was pleased with what I read? The chess game did turn out well, and I'm pleased to hear that you enjoyed it. What would you call the kind of conversation they're having? It's not bantering, though it's close - there's something of a rivalry between them, an intellectual rivalry, and it's interesting to see how Grimm accuses Minerva of being competitive when, throughout that whole conversation, he's the one being competitive, constantly comparing himself to her. He is threatened by her talents, and doesn't know how to deal with a girl who is so good at Quidditch and chess, and who is clearly a more powerful witch than he is. Yet at the same time, he finds it alluring, even exciting.
She is curious, but I'm interested in how you also find her mysterious. She's very quiet about what's going on in her head, and even when she's the one the narrator follows, one can still feel Minerva holding back. The death of her brother is something she definitely doesn't want to talk about, mostly because she feels guilt over it. He died in France, and I've imagined that he chose to be a fighter pilot - both McGonagall siblings loving to fly. But Minerva didn't write to him nor did she speak to him much after his marriage, so now that he's dead, she has a lot of regrets and wishes that she had done something more.
Writing about her brother reminds me of something I want to return to in the new chapter, so thank you for bringing it up! :D
Minerva is too practical to deal in politics. Grimm is a rebel, and because he's high-strung, he often finds himself on the wrong side of tradition and the upper classes. But it's impossible to forget that he is well-off - for all his ideals, he takes a lot for granted, and that proves to be his downfall.
Yes, Hagrid was with Aragog. I'm slowly introducing more of that side of the story into the plot, showing fragments of Hagrid's and Myrtle's lives in this fateful year. It's great that you like those canon details - they mean a lot to me when reading and writing fanfiction, and I like to take care that I've grounded each story in the right context. :)
Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I look forward to seeing what you think of the rest of this story!