|Review:||Courtney Dark says:|
Hey! Sorry that my reviews are taking longer than usual these days - it seems like I only get around to them in the weekend, so I'm really sorry about that!
Anyway, this chapter seemed to be a little bit filler-ish, but sometimes we need fillers in stories to add to the development of characters so that is a-okay. I like that we got to see some more of Dom and Rose in this chapter, and that we are beginning to see their personalities shine through. I also liked that line about Rose being swapped for Hattie - I thought that was a nice, humorous touch to the chapter.
I would have loved to see a little bit more description in this chapter, to make the chapter flow a little more smoothly and slow down the pace a little. It would have been great had you expanded on the journey into Hogsmeade, perhaps playing a little more on Flick's conflicting emotions and I'd also have liked to seen some more detailed imagery concerning the Shrieking Shack.
I liked Flick's friends idea of locking her inside with Albus - that was very nicely done, even though it ended in an argument. I hope Flick tells Albus about the twins soon, and quickly too, because I think it's unfair to the children to grow up without knowing their father, purely because of Flick's selfishness.
I actually found Flick a little irritating in this chapter, although that was probably intentional. I didn't like the way she attacked Albus. Yes, she is under stress with the twins and yes, she did have a legitimate excuse for staying home last year but she didn't need to take it all out on Albus, especially considering it's been over a year and she STILL hasn't told them. I hate to think what Albus is going to feel when he realizes he has two kids and didn't even get to see the first year of their childhood. That is going to be a huge blow.
I also didn't like the way Flick told Albus about Hattie, and how the only reason she was with him was for the money. That was downright nasty. If she really likes/loves Albus, I would've thought she wouldn't have been so cruel. But then I guess love does strange things to people, right?
Anyway, I enjoyed this chapter, though I don't think it quite met the standard of the others. There were also a few grammar and spelling mistakes scattered throughout the chapter, so I'd suggest a quick edit.
Author's Response: Heya,
Don't worry about it, it's fine, RL gets in the way.
Yep, just as chapter 5 this was simply a filler.
Dom and Rose = :) Flick really does wish it would happen since Rose spends so much time with them.
After reading over the chapter, I see what you mean. I'm hoping to do a big edit so I'll be sure to add some more descriptions in.
They had to talk some time even if they did argue. It is unfair on them and Flick has her reasons apart from not being able to tell him.
Everyone's irritating at some point and this chapter just happened to be Flick's time. I do believe Al will have a lot of feelings when/if he finds out, it'll be an interesting chapter to right I'm sure.
I think Flick feels that if she was Al, she would want to know the truth, Which is why she told him.You're right, love does do strange things to people and maybe that's why she told him.
I wasn't a huge fan of this chapter either.
I'm hoping to do a big edit on this sometime in the week so I'll be sure to change them.
Thank you once again!
Soph xx :)