|Review:||nott theodore says:|
I was so excited when I checked my favourite stories and saw that this had been updated again! So naturally I'm here again to leave you another review!
I loved this chapter! The arguments between James and Sirius and James and Al are being resolved and it's so nice to see them getting on again. I think my favourite line from this chapter would have to be: "Ten points to Gryffindor, for Fred Weasley's obvious statements" it really made me laugh so much.
Fred was probably my favourite character in this chapter, too. His plan of pushing a prefect down the stairs just to get out of Slughorn's party was absolutely hilarious (outrageous, of course, but still hilarious...) and he is just so funny. I can't believe he's still offering coffee toffees out (to his family, of all people! He could at least give them to people he doesn't like, like Fred and George did to Dudley in the books!) after what happened to Sirius. It seems like such a Fred thing to do, though. You write his character really well.
I like the other characters in this chapter, too. James in particular, because we can see that he's starting to mature a bit, and he's realised his mistake and is truly sorry for it (although, of course, it took Sirius' conversation with Neville to make him realise it). It was good to see him have to make an effort to get the Al and Sirius to forgive him for what he did, and that it wasn't really easy for him. I think that it will be a while before he forgets how much his family, particularly Al, mean to him, after falling out with them over Al's sorting.
And Dom is brilliant. She's only in first year and already she's got half the school eating out the palm of her hand. There's no question that she's very manipulative, but there's something you've kind of got to admire about her. She obviously doesn't like being compared to her sister though! And I'm interested to see more of her and Amelia in the future, because they seem like pretty cool characters, especially for two first years.
I'm glad Sirius and James made up, since the main reason they fell out was because of how James treated Al, and when he admitted that he was wrong about that, Sirius forgave him. I liked the bit at the beginning, as well, when James knows that Sirius is running around as a dog but he can't acknowledge that he knows it. They're both hiding stuff from each other to try and keep the other happy, but I think that just proves how good friends they are. Also I think we can definitely see that Sirius is accepting that this James is different to the first James he knew, which is definitely a good thing!
The way James and Al made up was really adorable! Rose was a cute character here, but then again she always is... I think the best bit is that James got so worried about Al that he forgot his pride and actually HUGGED his brother (because let's face it, not many boys of his age would willingly hug their brother in public!) and they made up. I'm so glad they did, although I think they could have some more disagreements in the future over Scorpius.
However, I have to say that I think you're very mean, because you're still holding out on us! I'm glad that Al was okay after the centaur attack, but I really, REALLY want to know what happened to him and why, plus why he didn't tell James about it! I know it's not a proper cliffhanger, but you still haven't told us what happened! But James also knows that Al was lying to him, so hopefully he'll be trying his best to find out the truth as well!
This was a pretty long review, even by my standards, but I do love this story, and I hope you update soon with the next chapter!!
nott theodore :)
Author's Response: Hello again!
I'm excited that you are so excited! It really makes me happy and motivated to continue writing and get them out as fast as I can. :)
Thank you so much for the long review! You always leave long reviews and it gives me something to go off of for future chapters and places to improve or keep the same. :) Thank you!
Fred is a fun character to write. I placed a lot of the twins characteristics in him - except it a bit more concentrated considering there is only Fred. We've mostly only seen Fred's joking side, but in the future I'll probably give him more of a moment to shine. Not to the extent that I'll write in Fred's point of view, because quite honestly that's a scary thought for me...an entire chapter thinking like Fred will probably land me in the hospital. xD But he will have his moment to develop a little more. The main reason he offers them to people he knows is because he has a better chance of monitoring them - like Sirius for example. But Fred and George giving Dudley candy in the fourth book was one of my all time favorite moments. xD It was just so beautiful.
As for James, it was a big moment for him. He had to suck up his pride and make amends. He's struggling a little accepting Al being in Slytherin, but he'd rather be on speaking terms with his brother and figure out his own issues later, than instead not talking to Al and Sirius. He knows he cares for his brother, but prejudices die hard. Fortunately, James is young and can make his own decisions. He just might have a relapse or two...
Dom is fun to write on the sidelines for now. I like her friendship with Amelia - it's very good for her. But the entire school isn't just befriending her because she's manipulating them. Her side will be explained more later - but basically she doesn't want to lose possible allies if she needs them. So she just keeps her mouth shut. Except around Amelia, of course. She's fun to develop, but she's mostly a side character for right now. Both will be in the next chapter, though. ;)
I enjoyed writing them making up, because that was something that needed to be addressed. I didn't want them to just pop up again as best friends, because James did need to grow up a little when he admitted he was wrong. I wanted to give them a little scene, but also show that Sirius wasn't mad enough to force more out of James. Pretty much it was to show how easy they fall in step with one another again and how much their friendship has grown in just a year.
Al and James making up was also a big part of this chapter - actually bigger considering James spent probably more time worrying about that. I'm glad you noted that they hugged. I made it this way to put James in that brotherly spot. In previous chapters every time James 'hugs' Al, it's not really personal and kind of aggressive. I always picture Al struggling while James has him in a head-lock. The hug was to show how James was worried about his brother and how at that moment - James only wanted his brother back.
As for the cliffhanger from the last chapter, I know. :( I'm really sorry about that and I tried to work in hints or parts of it - but I couldn't do it. I had to resolve the issue with James not talking to Sirius or Al for it to make sense.
I will however, promise that you will find out more about Al in the next chapter. I will even tell you that it's going to be Al's point of view. I've become rather fond of that kid. But there will be a lot in the next chapter. It will fill in some of the blanks I've left after the last chapter (18), and hopefully not create too many more. The only reason why you might not find out soon, is if I decide to do a Sirius point of view instead. I miss writing him a little and I have a few ideas for his next chapter. However, it's probably going to be Al. It's already written and should be up as soon as it clears the backlog. :D
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm so glad that you love my story. :) Hope to hear from you soon!