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Review:adluvshp says:
Hey, here for your requested review from the forums =)

Ah this seems like an awesome story! I absolutely love your story idea, especially because it's about an OC who isn't in a Potter/Weasley group completely. So, thumbs up. On to your concerns-

This introductory chapter was definitely a good start. The plot seems great so far - as I said, it is quite original and refreshing in a way. The summary has me intrigued, especially the magical flux part, so I am eager to see how things play out in that direction. I also liked the way you gave a lot of background information about the characters/plot in this first chapter itself as it definitely establishes the setting for the further ones. So basically, I'd say that the plot seems fun, interesting, and quite original, so good work there.

As for characterisations, this being the first chapter I can't comment on it much, but so far, I am liking your characters. You have given them all certain distinguishable traits which is good as with too many characters, a reader is bound to get confused. I also like your main OC's character, she seems very fun and nice. Just be careful of not turning her into a Mary-Sue (though I assure you, in this first chapter she doesn't seem like one). I also like the way you introduced the minor characters and kept them connected to the main OC's life, as I've seen a lot of fics where everything is about the main OC and the minor/supporting characters are not focused on. Good work there.

The descriptions are great as well. I enjoyed them all, be it the small details or the important ones. The way you have set the scenes is good. There's a balance between action and dialogue and I like it. It all played out in front of my eyes like a movie, so yay for your descriptions =)

Your over all grammar and phrasing etc. is all good too. The whole chapter flowed smoothly despite the various scenes, and I think you handled the transitions well. I liked the way you ended it on a cliffhanger too, it is interesting and makes you want to read more. After all, the "green light" can be interpreted in so many ways. All in all, I enjoyed this chapter immensely, and I am sure the story is headed in an awesome direction. So, keep writing!! Do re-request for chapter 2. I have no CC to offer =)

Great job!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi Angie!

I'm happy you think the plot sounds interesting so far -- I'm trying to stay away from just a 'he loves me he loves me not' type of story. I'm also attempting to stay away from a Mary-Sue, but seeing as Autumn is not a Quidditch star, nor some mysterious beauty, so far I think I'm safe!

Friendship and family is a big part of this novel. I really wanted to create group dynamics where everyone is tight-knit, without backstabbing or pettiness. Gad to hear it's working!

AHH I love hearing your compliments on my description -- it's something I have to force myself to think about, and compliments about it remind me why I bother. Thank you!

As always, thank you for your amazing review, and I will make sure to rerequest when your slots are open :)


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