Hi Val! I'm here to initiate our long-term swap!
True story--I've always loved the idea of naming women after seasons. Now I'm starting to regret it. I'll try to give my children less flowery names, haha :)
Okay, interesting right off the bat. I have to wonder what could possess a man to leave four daughters behind--that is, why stick around so long and then just up and quit after Ivy was born? I imagine we'll find out later, so I'll wait for that. I liked how you dove into Autumn's internal dialogue and let her explain the family's situation a little bit. You did kind of lose me once you launched into the part about who was in what House and year at school. I prefer to see details like that sprinkled throughout the first few chapters with context clues as opposed to just handed to me straight away.
Okay, I think I need some more context in the second section. I'm American, so I've obviously heard of Maroon 5, but are they popular in Britain? Where is the quirky anecdote about how four young witches learned to drive? And I'm a little confused about how the electronics can function so well with so many wizards and witches in the house. I think it's fine to sprinkle in bits of Muggle stuff, as long as you provide a rationale for it all.
Okay, love what you've done with the Potter-Weasleys! I'm so sad that Bill and Fleur aren't together, and I'm definitely curious to find out why. But I did like how you sprinkled the children and cousins across all four houses without making a huge deal of it, and how the Seasons aren't related to the family, just good friends of theirs. It makes for a very interesting cast of characters.
Love the riddles! Possibly the best thing about being a Ravenclaw--interesting passwords :) I don't know where you came up with them, but I like them a lot. And that ending, whoa! I wonder what will greet me in the next chapter next time...
Very nice so far! Looking forward to reading on :)
Author's Response: &hearts
The names are the result of a three-in-the-morning whim planning a Next Gen parody, if ever.
About Andrew, well, you shall see! And yes, I know this is insanely complicated to follow (I had an Excel grid to help me when I wrote this, if you must know). Introductory chapters aren't really my forte, so I apologise, but hopefully this gets clearer afterwards?
Maroon just happen to be a band I really like, and Sophie (the person for whom I wrote this story) appreciates them just as much, so it was just a wink to the conversations we've been having.
Whoops, did I say the girls were driving? I meant their mother, the girls are only sitting in the car. The electronics function because this big gathering of wizards is temporary; most of the time it's just a little old witch who lives in the house!
Bill and Fleur's divorce isn't really a big part of the story, to be honest. I just thought at least one cannon couple should be divorced because apparently it's a 1:3 ratio in real life. Hermione and Ron were overused as a bickering couple, so I went for Bill and Fleur instead (though it made me really sad too).
RAVENCLAWS RULE. House pride weaseled its way here, it couldn't be otherwise :)
I'm really happy to be swapping with you on the long term, and I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this lovely review...