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Review:academica says:
Hi Claire! I'm here to initiate our long-term swap :)

It's clear from what I've previously read of yours that characterization is one of your strong points, and this story is no exception so far. I love the little nuances you've built into Pansy's personality. For instance, the line about her fingernails nearly cutting holes into the newspaper as she follows along with the article clearly shows that control is a major concern of hers and she feels very anxious in this strange new topsy-turvy world. I always felt like Pansy cared more about Draco than he did about her in canon, but here I really felt like she was genuinely concerned about his well-being and really felt like she needed him there to stabilize her. I'm anticipating their meeting later in the story--and dreading it, given that he will probably have little to say to her that she would expect.

I also like the contrast between Pansy's desire to retain control and her utter hopelessness at going about it. She can't get the Floo to work, she can't travel with the help of a house elf, and she needs to say the truth out loud to her mother to even get herself to start to believe it. I like how Pansy's mother kept referring to her plans; I can see where Pansy gets her need for control and sense of self-righteousness. Neither of them can believe that the war could have real consequences for them. Makes me wonder what Mr. Parkinson is like!

The imagery in this chapter made me sad, and not because you didn't execute it beautifully (you did). It's weird to watch this sort of palace that Pansy grew up in turn into a prison, with her and her mother left to wander about aimlessly and try to make some sense of their new, trapped reality. Wonder if Pansy misses Hogwarts right about now?

I don't have any critique so far; your stories never disappoint. I'll try to be helpful where I can later on.

Very nice work! I'm definitely eager to read on.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello Amanda! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this amazing review!

I'm really glad that so far you think I've done a good job with Pansy's characterization. Although I am fairly confident with it in the beginning of the story, as the story moves along Pansy begins to change or develop a lot, and since her development is the main focus of the story, I've been trying extremely hard to make her progress believable.

Mr Parkinson never really appears in the story himself, although he does feature in Pansy's thoughts on occasion. Imagining their family dynamics is very interesting because we've really only seen one Death Eater family in canon, and they, it could be said, gave up on Voldemort during the Final Battle.

Haha- I don't think Pansy misses Hogwarts so much as the freedom and power she felt there. At Hogwarts she felt as though she was at the head of the Slytherin girls, regardless of how true that was, and she felt that she held power because of her father's position as a Death Eater. Without that, without Draco, she feels lost and more helpless than ever before, a feeling that she is definitely not comfortable with.

Thanks for leaving such a well-thought-out reivew and I look forward to continuing our exchange!


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