Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Arithmancy_Wiz says:
Hi, nott. I'm here for the review tag. Just as a quick side note, if you plan to keep posting in the review tag thread, it would be helpful to the other members if you included a link to your author's page in you signature :)

This was a really good first chapter! I'm a huge next-gen fan, so I was already excited to take a look, and this didn't disappoint. You've done a lot to set up Molly's character here. She's got a lot of sass but also a good head on her shoulders. First person is a really intimate narration style, so it's extra important for the reader to want to be in the head of the narrator, and with Molly's wit, I can already tell this is going to be a good style match.

There were lots of great little tidbits throughout the chapter. I loved the name "The Unspeakables" for a band. Very clever! And the matter of how to address someone in a business situation is so true to life. It really can be awkward at times. I think my favorite line of the chapter was: I didn't realise when I was getting dressed this morning that I was going to need sunglasses for this meeting. Cyrus was laying it on pretty thick there, and I'm glad Molly isn't the type of girl to be won over by a few flirtatious smiles.

It was nice to see that Cyrus seemed to really care about his petition though. He comes off a bit arrogant and very aware of his own charm, but knowing he has a passion for something besides himself gives him some depth right out of the gate. It makes me hope Molly says yes to the date.

Overall, a very nice chapter. The writing was clean, you've introduced some interesting characters and you've left the reader wondering what will come next. A very nice start to your story!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for the suggestion to include the link in my signature. I'm still new on the forums but I've added it in - hopefully it will help!

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter! Molly's character seemed to write herself for me after a certain point, and I'm glad that I managed to get her wit across.

It took me ages to come up with the name for Cyrus' band. I can't tell you how long I sat saying random words to try and choose one that sounded right, so I'm glad you like that! And yes, Cyrus was laying it on thick, but Molly is all business when she goes to work, so she's not likely to give in to looks and charm on something so important. I have to admit, that line is one of my favourites too :)

Cyrus does really care about his application, and I really didn't want him to seem as shallow as most celebrities often come across. He didn't have to go into dragon handling when he left The Unspeakables, so he has to be pretty passionate about it to take on the risks of that profession.

I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you very much for the review! I hope you find time to read the rest of the story!

nott theodore :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 552
Submit Report: