Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there! Thanks so much for the swap - and sorry for getting this to you a bit later than supposed... I got sidetracked by Kung Fu Panda... ahem.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this! I love the fact that your OC doesn't have a tragic past or anything like that as so often happens, has a bunch of crazy siblings (let's be honest, they're all raving, lol! But fun-raving :D), and isn't a pureblood in Gryffindor kinda thing. I also like how you didn't mention anything about blood status or everything being so divisive since they're in different houses - it makes Next Gen feel a lot calmer and more together after the war, if that makes sense.

The name are great. I like how you used the seasons for her and her twin and gave a reason for them having slightly odd names - it was a nice thing to see, and a good explanation, lol. I mean, even in canon... Nymphadora? :)

Autumn's a great character, really. She seems so far to be fairly impulsive, I'd guess at not necessarily the cleverest in her family, doesn't seem to be hugely sporty - she seems like a nicely average kinda character (I may be totally wrong on this), which I like. Not everyone in Next Gen can be a prefect/Quidditch superstar/a genius, after all!

The only two things I'd say were that this is very long and a lot happens in it - maybe think about cutting some of it out (maybe the christmas scene? You can introduce family through letters and talking about what happened at Christmas, kinda like you did with Roxanne in this) or just shortening it, coz it's a lot of take in. As well, and it's pretty much linked, there's a lot of characters! Since they're all pretty much girls as well, it's a little hard so far to really distinguish between them all - you point out that Fern is different, but there's not too much character development for the others.

Oh, quickly - just a little grammatical thing, it's 'in the shower', not 'under the shower' ;)

But yeah, I really enjoyed this, though! I love the reference to the Calendar and their surname being Seasons and the fact that they're all sisters, and how you've included so many little details which show that it's after the war, so you don't need to tell us. I'm curious as to what they're all going to get up to at Hogwarts - and feel more than a bit sorry for the teachers already ;)

Thanks so much for the swap - I really enjoyed reading this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Kung Fu Panda is a completely valid excuse, no need to apologise!

Your comment about things being calm and less divisive does make perfect sense, and it's what I was aiming for, so thank you!

You're also spot on about Autumn being average. Well, not entirely though: I did choose Ravenclaw to show she has academic facilities. Other than that, yes -- I wanted her normal.

I'm aware that this is very long, but it sort of sets my goal in terms of wordcount. The fact that the family was intorduced directly was a way for me to show that the family is the most important aspect of this novel, if that makes sense, though I will definitely consider editing the Christmas scene!

Whoops, francisism. I'll need to change that too!

Thank you so much for the review, I was happy to swap with you :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 297
Submit Report: