Hey there! Thanks so much for doing the swap - and I'm glad to see this is being updated! A bit of Remus/Tonks is always great ;)
I have to say that I love how you're intertwining the two worlds together - you know, like Bill from La Deuxieme Rencontre is the same Bill as he is here and the two events overlap, etc. - because it's so clever. Like world-building inside a world. Mind-blowing stuff, lol.
I love Bill's character, as well, and how you wrote Remus. Bill was so cocky - I could totally see him skipping off to Egypt in search of treasure of adventure, etc. but yet being a sensible, down-to-earth older brother figure as well. I liked the comment about him giving Charlie and Tonks detentions, as well, it added a sort of fairness to him which was nice :) And Remus... well, he practically was Remus from the books, lol. I liked how he was somewhat happy in this - I know he's often tired/ill in the books due to lycanthropy, but the poor bloke can't be exhausted all the time, so it was nice to him be sort of happy for a while :)
Tonks is wonderful, of course. I loved how she doesn't get on well with Dawlish - he always seemed like a sensible, mature, focused kind of person and definitely not like the kind of person who'd get on fabulously with Tonks - because people don't always get on well with everyone at their work, you know. The bit I liked most, though, was when you mention that she doesn't really want to talk to Sirius, etc. It just seemed so true - you would feel a bit odd about talking to a long-lost relative who you thought was a mass murderer, knowing that you should probably tell your parents, but you know it's going to be one of those horribly awkward conversations no one ever wants to have to have, and yeah. It's just such a human thing to think and feel - it really brought her to life.
Also, I loved how you included the 'fan-girl' bit when they're talking about Harry. It was really true to the books - I think I remember her being a bit like that in the fifth one, at the beginning - so it was so nice to see.
The one thing I would say is that perhaps you could put a physical break or something (like the line bar or just a star or something - I use 'X' personally) between the segments where it jumps in time/scene, just to make it a little clearer? It's not overly confusing, but it would make the breaks more obvious and easier to follow :)
Thank you for the swap! I really enjoyed reading this! :)
Author's Response: Hi Aph!
I didn't purposefully mean for both of the stories to come together, it just sort of happened because I wrote this chapter after the one-shot, and I thought it would be a fun thing to include!
I'm glad that you liked Remus and Bill. I always imagined that Bill would be a little cocky, and of course he would give those two detentions, probably partly because he wanted them to suffer *evil laugh!* Then I had to give Remus something to be happy about, it would just be cruel otherwise.
I'm so glad that you liked Tonks. I thought it would be fun to include Dawlish because they would be polar opposites. The thing with Sirius as well, just seemed natural for her, and I think anyone would think the same.
Ooh that is a good idea, I'm usually unsure about what to do, so I just leave it bare, but I think I will add something :)
Thanks for the great review,