|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
Hello! I'm back again for the second of my two reviews as a prize for winning Hufflepuff's Writer's Duel!
I'm still really enjoying this story and the little developments you're adding. The relationship between Edie and Oliver certainly is rocky, which, of course, just makes it all the more interesting. I'm finding that Oliver is a very difficult character to figure out- he has a very rough personality on the outside, but we know nothing (or at least very little) about how he feels on the inside. He lets little bits show through, like his comment about preferring to be alone, and his long-term relationship with Katie Bell, but the majority he keeps hidden. It makes me wonder how on earth Edie is going to be able to write an entire article on his personality.
I still feel that he's mostly "good", that through his rough patches he's a nice guy. I'm having mixed feelings about the angle Edie wants to write in her next article... Though I understand why she's angry with him, I don't think she should be digging solely to find the nasty parts of his personality. Who knows... Perhaps the time she spends with him will make her hesitate before publishing another negatively-toned article.
By the way, I think that you included a fantastic detail when you wrote that Oliver wanted to get back on the field as soon as possible, even though he knew that it might mean possible permanent damage to his limbs. It did a great job of showing the depth of his love and fascination with Quidditch, without coming right out and saying that Quidditch is his life. I just hope that he won't reach the point of permanent damage... Enjoyment is great and all, but what about afterwards, when you can no longer do what you love at all? (I do doubt that you'll let it get to that point, though).
This chapter was particularly interesting because Oliver was very adament that he wasn't going to discuss the Christmas charity event. I was curious as to why he'd brought it up- he obviously has a very low opinion of the types of articles that Witch Weekly and just about every other magazine writes and I doubt that they typically write derogatory articles about celebrities like him.
I really liked the inclusion of her brothers. They seemed like really fun people (especially when her oldest younger brother grabbed her from behind), though I definitely agreed with Edie about the whole club idea. I understand why she went "mother-part-two" on them- I probably would have done the same with my own younger brothers.
All in all, I think that you're continuing to do a great job with this story. I'm very conflicted over the characters- you've done such a great job of humanizing them without trying to make it obvious that that's what you're trying to do. (By the way, I'm curious about Dean's reaction when she got dressed up for the restaurant... He seemed oddly quiet). Congrats for winning! :D
Author's Response: Hello again! ♥
Yes, Oliver is quite hard to understand isn't he? It's one of the dangers of being somebody who has been misunderstood by the main character. It's safe to say that Edie has wrongfully judged him. But we're in that state of limbo where we're not entirely sure exactly what Oliver is like, so he is difficult even for the reader to understand. I've been trying to find the balance between sufficiently mysterious and too vague. Hopefully he's not the latter!
I'm having mixed feelings about her article too! haha. She's a very impulsive person, and she felt like everything in her life was falling apart so she's decided to take it out on him. Of course some of the bad things that happened are his fault. But she's so angry and quick-tempered, and sees this article as an outlet for her frustrations, that she hasn't really stopped to think. Then as she gets to know him better, she begins having second thoughts. She's in a very rough place right now. She has to choose between the chance to finally advance her career, or acknowledging that she could be entirely wrong about this person, and not writing the second article.
Yeah, I liked that bit about Oliver wanting to get "back on the broom" too. I guess he and Edie share their impulsive qualities, eh? ;3 Not to mention how much he values and loves Quidditch.
I think I understand your comment about the St. Mungo's charity, and I hope I'm answering it correctly xD Edie thought that she was going to be doing this huge, earth-shattering move when she decided to try and expose his decision not to donate. But when she got to the interview, and he was the one who brought it up, she realized that he's been asked time and time again. He's consistently refused to comment on it. Clearly he doesn't value a lot of pop-culture journalism, as he doesn't even read his own publicity. He has a bad taste in his mouth because everybody has tried to figure out "the answer" of the donation issue. And then Edie had to face that her "crusade" against him wasn't this big unique idea, like she thought it was. She kind of views herself as this vigilante, in some ways. A big part of this story is her realization that she's not as politically charged as she thinks. I hope that makes sense! I want to give a good explanation but I also don't want to spoil anything.
As the eldest sibling myself, I feel very protective over my sister. Without getting too personal, there was--and still is--a lot of pressure from my parents to be "the good example" for her, at times to the point of their negligence to me. So while some readers disagree with Edie's harsh reaction to Oliver, I totally understand and even sympathise. I know what it's like to try and direct a younger sibling away from something harmful, and only to be laughed at and called a stick in the mud. I don't think slapping him was the best decision she's made, but I can understand why she felt so frustrated.
Thank you so much for these reviews. I hope my responses aren't too long--you just pointed out a lot of things that I've been dying to talk about. And I've had three cups of coffee xD