Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:ShadowRose says:
ShadowRose again!

I like how you portrayed the mother/daughter relationship between Ambrosia and Druella as a little bit formal, because I've always kind of imagined many of the pureblood families to be much like that.

You alternate between saying "aunt Walburga" and just "Walburga." It might be better if you chose just one, to prevent any sort of confusion.

Once again, your descriptions are beautiful. I especially loved how you framed the exterior of Bellatrix's house, because it just created this perfect image in my mind.

This chapter, overall, is a little slow, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. More often than not, most stories start off this way. Plus, you already have the start of your plot framed, so it works that this chapter is a little uneventful.

I do also like that you finally showed Ambrosia's reasoning for wanting to join the Death Eaters, because before, it was a little ambiguous. She sounds very similar to Bellatrix, although I guess it makes a lot of sense considering they are extremely close to one another.

The thestral thing you inserted into the scene at Bourgin and Burke's is quite interesting. I really do hope you develop that, because thestrals are really never mentioned in fanfiction, and behavior that strange must have some meaning.

Feel free to re-request for any of your later chapters! This is a great story so far!


Author's Response: Hello again!

The formality of the average parent-child relationship in a pureblood family is pretty well-established in my perception as well, and Druella and Walburga, for whatever reason, seem as though they would be especially prone to it. I also intend to take your advice when it comes to my references to Walburga, as I read back through the chapter searching for them and realized that they are a bit awkward. Thanks for the tip! :)

If any chapter I've written of this story yet was slow, I knew it would probably be this one. It's good to know that you think it works though, and especially why! That sort of input is massively helpful.

Ambrosia is very similar to her sister in a lot of ways, and the differences between them don't really show or matter very much yet. I'm also glad to hear that the reason for Ambrosia's desire to join the Death Eaters wasn't lost in the rest of this chapter.

I'm glad that you liked the thestrals! I absolutely do plan to expand on their unusual behavior, and in fact I am quite looking forward to doing so.

I am so grateful that you took the time to review, and certainly happy that you like the story so far!

- Warrior

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 371
Submit Report: