|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
Hello! I am here with (one of) your long overdue reviews for winning the Writer's Duel. And I can certainly understand why it won!
This story is very enjoyable. I was actually intending to stop and review it a few chapters ago but I couldn't resist reading on to see what would happen between Edie and Oliver. I think that one of my favourite things about this story so far is Edie's voice. She provides a very humorous narration - her comments on the people around her are quite funny!
As well, I really like the situation you've created between Oliver and Edie. In particular, I really liked how, even though he's sorta redeemed himself in this chapter with his apology, he's still committed questionable actions, such as the non-donation to the Children's Ward. Though I feel like there will be an explanation for this, at the moment it really prevents him from being seen as a heroic or saintly character.
I was actually sorta shocked by his behaviour a few chapters ago, though I did find it amusing that he'd masqueraded as Victor Krum for the night. I mean- Oliver Wood, the boy who seemed to live, breathe and dream Quidditch, potentially harming his Quidditch career by drinking? However, Oliver's had years to change... The influence of a very public and popular career... And he participated in the war, which would also have had lasting effects on him.
Another thing that I really liked about this story is that you've really carved out a unique niche for Edie in the Wizarding world. While she's friends with enough canon characters that she's grounded in our knowledge of it, you haven't tried to fit her into the lives of the Golden Trio and their familes. It's nice and refreshing to read a story that features Dean and Seamus (and you do such a good job with them too!).
As well, I really enjoyed the twist you've taken with her career path. Though working in an underappreicated job is an often-taken route, you've made her workplace come alive with her interesting complaints and stories. I'm very curious to see where this article arch will take her... And just how long it will take before she's discovered. I have a feeling that Ms Blakeshee is fond of her and will probably take her side once the truth is revealed.
I'm also very intrigued to see how the article arch will fit into Oliver's story... And how he will react once he sees the negative tone she took with it. However, he did take a WEEK to finally speak with her and apologize... Which is much too long if the person you're apologizing to is writing an article about you!
I think that I could go on for quite a bit more about what I've enjoyed in this story so far, but I shall stop myself here. (Oh! One more thing! I really like how you're including the issue with the female goblins not obtaining work and I'm really curious to see where it'll intersect with the larger story). So, all in all, I think that you've done a great job with the story up until this point and congrats on winning the Hufflepuff Writer's Duel! :)
Author's Response: Wow, this review! Thanks so much! I wasn't sure if I was officially considered winner of the Writer's Duel, because the polls never closed xD But that's so exciting to hear, thanks so much!
A lot of this story is (unintentionally) similar to Pride and Prejudice, I'm finding. It happened on accident, because I wanted Edie to have--at least what she thought to be--a legitimate reason to dislike Oliver. I wanted this to be a story where the two characters don't like one another at first, but I wanted it to be realistic. Hence she found him attractive at the pub, and when she met him again in this chapter she felt interested in him. But then a series of things happened to make her dislike him. She thinks a lot of the events were his fault, and whether that's true or not, it's the reason she dislikes him. I didn't want this to be an I HATE OLIVER WOOD WE ARE RIVALS HE IS SO ARROGANT BUT ALWAYS FLIRTS WITH ME AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON I CAN'T STAND HIM UGH story ;3
Hmm, you're right--his decision to drink so much could surely be detrimental to his career. I actually hadn't thought about that! But his "reasoning" still trumps that, at least in his eyes. It's revealed a bit in chapter thirteen, but you make a really strong point. So I'll do my best to give a better explanation as to why this Quidditch-obsessed person doesn't take better care of his career. Thanks!
I can't say it enough: I LOVE minor characters. There are so many things about their backstories that we never really get to hear about. For example, Dean thought he was Muggle-born when he went to Hogwarts. But later he found that his father was a Wizard, and left he and his mother in order to save their lives. He didn't want to put them in danger after the first War. After he left them he was asked to join the Death Eaters, and when he refused, was killed. There's so much that could be explored there--and which explains why Dean became so active during the War in DH. And it gives Edie and Dean something in common, with not having their fathers around. Minor characters deserve attention too!
I think that you're right--Blakeslee is a bit fond of Edie. In a very quiet and reserved way. But she's still career-driven enough to not trust her with any major assignments. After all, she could certainly have gone over Mr. Ward's head and given Edie better jobs at her internship. But she hasn't. This will definitely come into play later ;3
YES. The female Goblins thing was a last-minute addition, and was just meant to be mentioned once, briefly, to show Edie's interest in feminism. But then the plunnies hit me, and it's going to be a recurring thing in the story :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this lovely (and helpful!) review. I really appreciate it. ♥