I have not forgotten your story even though you probably think I have. It will probably take me all year, but I do plan to read and review, it just might not happen regularly :)
Anyway, to the chapter!
First of all, I like the beginning and this mysterious woman. One of the details I liked the best is where Flint starts speaking to her almost in high regard, which slowly resolves into impatience. I thought that really was a fantastic touch, and whoever she is, she doesn't really seem to care about that minor transgression. I do like how she blames everything on Flint.
I'm going to keep talking about Flint now and go to the next section with the guy in Borgin in Bourkes. This was my favorite scene in this chapter. One detail I think that really stuck out was your attention to the political climate. I really like how Flint described the current administration as "corrupt" even though it's most likely opposite from it. Everyone has moved on with the times except for him, but the government was the one that was corrupt. I really admired that small detail.
I also enjoyed his bargaining with the creepy dude, and the realization that he'd be looting. I like how you said that the Dark Lord may not be happy about it, and I really had to sit down and think about that for a second. The first time I read it, I was like, is Voldemort like a classy kind of mass murderer? But then when I really thought about it, you know, I realized that Voldemort had no use for money or riches. He could figure out other ways to get by. He was so consumed with power. So I thought it was really interesting that Flint would take the time to analyze and think that Voldemort wouldn't care for looting. I liked that a lot!
Now, onto Harry's sections. I liked the dialogue exchange between him and Bones. Nothing about your dialogue ever feels forced or unnatural, which is fabulous and really difficult to pull off sometimes. I also admire your usage of British phrases and things, even though I don't always particularly know what you're talking about. I think that was brilliantly done.
And finally, my other favorite details in this chapter was the focus on this ancient spell and the boiling of the blood. I am extremely intrigued with Hermione's lack of movement in her legs. My PT brain of course is working overtime wondering, did the blood boiling cause a spinal artery to burst? Maybe in the lumbar region, which would cause spinal cord injury? Is it something more magical? I absolutely ADORE medical issues, especially those musculoskeletal or neurological in nature so I'm quite intrigued on this one. I am interested in reading on and finding out what you plan to do with that because there aren't many stories that do it well and I'm convinced that yours is going to be one of the few that is!
Anyway, great chapter, I really enjoyed it, helped me take my mind off things :) bravo!
Author's Response: Hi, Ashley! Sorry, it has taken me a shamefully long time to get around to responding to this.
Flint is something of a recidivist by the standard of the time this story is set in. He went to prison shortly after the end of the Second Wizarding War and has only recently managed to escape, so his attitudes are well behind the times, so to speak. He sees the current leadership of the Ministry as "corrupt" simply because it's no longer mired in the pure blood status quo of years past.
The men that he meets at the Ragged Fang -- an ancient wizarding pub that caters to a very rough crowd, in a secret location next door to Bourgin & Burkes -- are definitely outsiders, but they're smart enough not to take Flint's offer at face value. Still, Flint is able to figure out something to say that appeals to them. He's clever, in a blunt sort of way.
I'm really glad that you like the dialog between Harry and Susan, because you're still in the part of the story that was written before I started working with my beta reader. So I always find it a bit rough around the edges. I've tried hard to work in some things that are more British sounding, but mostly just stuff I either find in other fics I like or on Google.
The spells that Hermione was hit with is very old and very dark. You'll learn a lot more about it as the story moves along, but suffice it to say that she has a long, difficult road ahead. The exact nature of her injury doesn't become completely clear for a while, though. I love your ideas!
I'm really glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!