Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:ChinaDoll says:
Rating 13/10

Hi, before I had found this story I was in some muddy waters with stories that had the same 'Pregnant' thing, it's like every other Hp fan fiction you read has had one of J.k's Ocs get Pregnant,(And the other half has their own Oc, with one of her Ocs as the father.) so I'll admit I was not jumping for joy when I started to read your story.

But I was very pleased to be wrong, once I started one chapter I just couldn't stop.

And the plot, I loved it, I was a little wary seeing that you killed Ron off, but again you pulled it together so well.

This is the first story with this pairing that I've read where Ron gets killed off, and I like it better then some of the others I've seen. Most Drmoine fan fictions put Ron in a bad light, having him cheat or just get bored with Hermione.

I think the one thing that I wasn't sure about was Draco and the doll making thing, but I got used to it. It was just because it was another first, what made me give into the cuteness was the chapter where he brings Mia to work with him. Has to be my favorite chapter.

The other thing, I wanted to make you aware of is the birthstone thing, I don't know if anyone has told you yet or not. In chapter three you set Mia's birthday as May 18th. But in chapter seven you say this,

'Mia couldnít help but stare at the gift. It was a white gold necklace with a small oval shaped sapphire droplet; her birthstone.' end quote,

Emerald's are May's birthstone, you also say some where that Mia and Hermione have the same birthstone. (Sapphire) Which is the birthstone for September, in Harry potter three, Hermione says that her birthday is in September, and that's why she wants to buy herself an owl.

Now I would say that if you want to keep Mia's and Hermione's birthstones the same, just change her birthday to September instead of May.

That would be the easy way, if you keep May you have to edit every place you say their stone is the same.

I really enjoyed this story of yours, I'm going to read it all over again.

Author's Response: Thank you for pointing out the birthday thing that is very helpful - you see the problem with doing a story over such a long period of time, means you forget what you've put in and what you haven't - I'll get round to editing the story.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story so much and that it exceeded your expectations; I felt the same way about Ron always becoming the bad guy; they have such a great connection in the HP books that I felt it unfair to make him into something he is not. However, I prefer Dramione fan fics because it brings a lot more opportunites so that's why I couldn't keep them together :) Again thank you so much for reading, you are a treasured reader :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 218
Submit Report: