I should not be here, be aware of this fact: my physics homework is in my lap, waiting to be done, buuut I saw your cry of help on the forums and decided to come save you (though now I'm annoyed because me leaving this review reduces the chances of me snagging number two hundred but anyway).
I'm ashamed to say this, but I'd forgotten how much I liked your description. It just seems so alive!
I don't reckon the Poisoned Apple has changed much since its opening, which a tarnished plaque claims to have been in 1484. The tavern still has its original frosted glass windows, stone floors and rusty chandeliers. The raw wood of the counters is stained with so much drink it almost looks intentional. Many hanging portraits have accumulated over the centuries: monks, who when tipsy stumble into the frames of can-can dancers, and photographs of rock bands that popped in over the years. A separate room contains a wall of magical dartboards and a pool table, all falling apart. Tonight though, it's hard to see any of this with the crowd packed in.
This is so vivid, I can actually see the scene in my head, drunk!Edie included.
Seamus flirts with anything with a pulse I wish we got a chance to see more of that in future chapters, it seems to be a trait that isn't dwelled on too much which is sad because I think it could be quite funny. Also, Mrs Finnnegan, does she ever come into the picture?
Haha, your comment about the Leprechauns made me laugh :)
OK I JUST IDENTIFIED TO EDIE. THIS IS THE HIGLIGHT OF MY DAY. I'm on about her having 'some pipes in her', because that's something I've been told more than once, so right now I feel oddly cheerful and just did a weird jig.
Like how she was at Hogwarts, when two beers would send us over the edge giggling. We did that all the time in school. What? Hufflepuffs like me had the reputation of being about as exciting as a houseplant, but we threw some phenomenal parties. You probably just werenít invited.
This is such a wonderful way to phrase and destroy all the stereotypes about Hufflepuffs! I've actually become quite fond of them with Summer and The Calendar Girls, so I like that you're giving them a new approach. I'd forgotten about this side of Lisa, but it would definitely explain the ice-cream eating phase later on.
I will not quote the discussion between Edie and Justin because it is not permitted, but believe me if I could there would be an entire line of exclamation marks following it because it killed me off.
Okay. I won't bother going on a linear analysis about the end of this chapter because I really want to go ahead to chapter two now. However, I want you to know that this allowed me to enjoy your talent as a writer fully again, and that going back to this first chapter makes me want to prod you with a stick until you update again because this combined with your latest chapter leaves me on the edge of my seat wanting to find out what other misfortunes you're going to plonk onto poor Edie's head.
YOU ARE AMAZING OKAY? &hearts
Author's Response: What! I just assumed you had already reviewed this chapter. Oh Val, thank you so much. You're so sweet to help me reach 200! ♥ I am totally leaving you THE BIGGEST review on Calendar Girls tonight!
Hmmm, that's a good point about Seamus not flirting... I mentioned it once in, like, chapter two with him trying to get with Rose. But you're right! I know of a few places where I can plant little mentionings of Seamus eyeing some gal. Thanks for pointing that out!
I AM SO EXCITED YOU CAN IDENTIFY WITH HER ESPECIALLY ABOUT BEING LOUD because I am actually kind a pathetically soft-spoken person, haha. VAL = EDIE YES
hehehe. I love Justin, I really do! I don't know what I'm doing wrong (or I guess what Edie's doing wrong?) to portay him as this horrible person, but he's really not meant to be! I think she only dislikes him a tiny little bit because he's 'stealing her best friend,' and because they are too similar in some ways. But Justin really does love Lisa, no matter how blunt he is with Edie! I ship Justin/Lisa so hard in this story! xD
Thank you so, so, so much, Val. You're incredibly kind! I am editing the next chapter as we speak and will probably put it in the queue tonight. ♥ ♥ ♥