AditiDraco95 from the forums, here with your requested review (finally). Sorry for the long wait.
OMG this was just awesome. It was so chilling and mind-boggling and haunting and dark and twisted and just amazing! I absolutely loved this one-shot. It is definitely going in my favourite list!
I think you did a brilliant job capturing Narcissa and her darkness. The way you portrayed her as this cold, calculative, and ruthless woman was really good. I loved her characterisation. I especially loved the part where Narcissa is thinking about which act of hers the letter is referring to and then she thinks that there are five decades of her dark deeds to choose from! That one sentence was just so powerful and revealed so much about her personality. I loved it! (I absolutely enjoy dark characters if you didn't guess it already).
Your descriptions and imagery were just superb as well. They really enhanced your narrative and literally breathed life into your haunting story. I could almost see everything happening before my eyes, it was all just so vivid. You really wove your descriptions around the events impeccably.
Coming to your concerns, you ending was just fabulous! It totally blew my mind and I was just sitting in front of my laptop in awe for two minutes straight, mulling it over in my head and thinking how brilliant it is. I don't see why you should be worried at all, it is as amazing on screen as it seemed in your head =) The way you slowly revealed the suspense was just awesome, and the realisation that Narcissa actually killed her sister - acting as Poppy - that night hits the reader with a powerful impact. The ending sentence was perfect too - the irony of Andromeda thinking "what harm could possibly come from pretending to be you" when she died because of the impersonation is just mind-blowing and struck a chord with me immediately.
The transitions between 1972 and 1999 were done very smoothly as well, and you don't have to worry about them at all! They tied in well together, and went hand-in-hand, and didn't disrupt the flow at all. In fact, they helped maintain the mysterious and dark mood of the narrative. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen until after I'd finished reading, and my interest was maintained throughout so the flow, mood, pace, and tone was all obviously just very smooth and perfect.
I only noticed one small typo(?) that you capitalised the "S" in the word "Sorting" in the middle of a sentence somewhere. Apart from that, this entire one-shot was just flawless, be it in terms of characterisation, pace, flow, descriptions, plot, writing style, or grammar. Every single thing was perfect. This is truly a writing masterpiece, so hats off!
Author's Response: Angie! Thank you so much for all those fabulous compliments! And I'm honoured that you've chosen to favourite this one-shot! ♥
I think I'm going to have to amend those earlier sections, since I had Andromeda/Poppy in mind while writing those, especially since it was Narcissa who sent the anonymous letters. :3 However, I'm really glad that the darkness came through to you and that you loved Narcissa's characterisation! :D
Thank you so much! I (obviously) have an internal TV in my mind playing everything, so it's great to hear that I managed to describe it well enough for you to visualize it all! I think this might be my most descriptive piece, actually. :3
Awww, awww, awww! THANK YOU SO MUCH! That is -exactly- the reaction I wanted to cause, but I was worried that some readers would get confused. So, it is absolutely fabulous to hear that it blew your mind! ♥ And I know; I remember starting this one-shot without knowing how I wanted it to end. I actually debated with quite a few scenarios before I settled on this one, and as soon as I did, I knew it was perfect. Poor Andromeda! (And it makes me insanely excited as well, to think of Poppy being the one to marry Ted and give birth to Tonks and raise Teddy!!)
I was concerned about the transitions because of the length of the words between each section, and additionally if they made sense to the reader, so again, it is absolutely fabulous to see that they helped to glue you to the screen! ;)
Oooh, good catch! However, and this is a personal thing, but I always capitalize the Sorting if it's regarding the Hogwarts houses, since the Hat is called the Sorting Hat and not the sorting hat. :P And I squee'd into oblivion when I read that you consider this one-shot a "writing masterpiece"! Thank you so, so much! ♥