Hey Jami! Here with the first of many, many, many reviews :P I've been meaning to read 'Before They Fall' for ages, so now's the prime opportunity to start, right?
I loved the beginning, it's just so ominous and sets the tone for the rest of the chapter. Your descriptions are beautiful, the wording is perfect and I can just see Cokeworth before my eyes.
I love the worry that James has for Sirius, it just clearly shows their friendship when he's wringing his hands and pleading with his parents, I just love it. I also loved Mrs Potter's worry too- Sirius is as much a part of the Potter family as James, a notion that we get from canon and from you :D
As sad as the event was, I loved how you set up the death of Lily's parents. Lily's reactions are genuine, she barely speaks and she's distraught, how you'd expect a 17 year old girl to act after the death of her mum and dad. I can't wait to read on and see how they died- that just sounded really morbid and cold :P I didn't mean it like that!
Just a little picky notes- you used the word 'cognizant' whereas in Britain its spelt 'cognisant', you rarely ever use the letter 'z' in words if you're British ;) Also, we don't have 'blocks' either, we have plenty of winding and crooked roads over here so we can't :P You can just say streets as a replacement.
Also, I don't think, correct me if I'm wrong, that Cokeworth is near London, where the Black house is. I was just wondering how Sirius knew where Lily's house was? That's just something that I picked up on, nothing too major :D
I'm going to read on dear- I do have 23 chapters to catch up on :P Great job!
Author's Response: Aww thank you so much for stopping by!!
I'm really happy you're enjoying this so far. These first three chapters aren't my favorites in compared to the newer ones, and my writing has gotten much smoother (yes, I'm trying to convince you to continue :P). Oh my gosh, you think that's morbid - about 8 chapters from now we find out the full story to the Evans death and I LOVED WRITING it. We're clearly just two morbid peas in a pod :P.
I'll warn you, I don't often change the spelling to British :(. I hope that doesn't bother you. I do try and watch my word choice carefully, and there are some areas where a word will be spelled the British way from when I had a beta who was Australian, but I don't ever do it. It's too hard for me. Blame my English teachers :P!
So... I can't exactly tell you how Sirius knew where Lily's house was. Don't worry, there's nothing romantic hidden between them, but there is a secret in there. Also, I set this up in my head so the Potter's house is near Lily's in Cokeworth, so they live close to one another. There's no canon evidence of that, it was to suit something else in the works. Hehe. I feel so mysterious right now.
Thank you for pointing that out about the blocks! I had no idea! I'll reword that to make it street instead :)!
Thank you so much for your awesome review! If you do decide to continue, I hope you like it ♥ Also, I don't expect anyone to review 23 straight chapters. If you do want to continue, please don't feel obligated to review them all. Haha. ♥.