Hi there my dear! Yay for the next chapter! Iíve been wanting to get back to this!
I really enjoyed your take on the aftermath of Professor Peachís death. I think the students and faculty, and the way they were affected, felt very genuine. Their professor has been with some of these kids for seven years, then to see him go in such a terrible way will of course take a toll on James. Iím really happy that you let that happen, by the way. That you made it clear he was upset by the death, and that he didnít just shake it off.
The conversation between him and Sirius was really well done. I liked James sort of admitting what was going on inside him without really offering full disclosure, and Sirius giving James what he needed to make him understand that his feelings were okay. Like he said to James, after seeing a dead body it would be terrifying for James NOT to feel anything.
I was curious why James asked her how she knew Professor Peach. Unless Iím missing something, they would have been colleagues, right? Maybe you meant how well did you know Professor Peach?
I thought the conversation between them was perfectly bittersweet. Itís still such a sad occurrence, but it was also nice to see Professor McGonagall open up a bit. And I loved the detail about her husband! I also liked how, even under the circumstances, James didnít seem incredibly comfortable. Something that would be natural when talking with a teacher.
The only section that I felt was off was the last with Professor Dumbledore. It was written so, so well -- nothing about your writing was off, just his attitude. He seemed too casual with James, and too direct. We usually see him use Mr and Miss followed by the studentís surname, and you often donít get a straight answer from him. Maybe making his sections a bit more... confusing... would help? Like:
ďWhatís on your mind?Ē Dumbledore put his fingers together as the gates to Jamesí... --
I loved how you described what came after Dumbledoreís question, but the way he asked it felt too direct for him. Something like--
ďIs there something you wish to speak with me about, Mr. Potter?Ē---
May sound more Dumbledore-ish. The man is a nightmare to write :P
I really enjoyed this second chapter, and will be continuing to the next very soon!
Author's Response: Hey Jami! I'm getting onto your reviews very soon, don't worry :D This chapter was very much about showing the effects of Professor Peach's death and starting up the investigation. I wanted it to be realistic, and I just kept thinking about what it would be like if one of my teachers died and went from there ;)
Sirius' and James' relationship is one that I love to explore- they're best friends, extremely loyal to each other, but they're guys so they're not exactly going to go shouting out about their emotions to each other, that's why James was slightly more reserved than say Lily would be to her friends.
I didn't realise that would be confusing. None of the other teachers were given leave to go to Professor Peach's funeral since they were mere colleagues and I don't think they asked for it, and James picked up on that and realised that they must know each other outside of Hogwarts. I might have to add in a sentence or two to make that clearer then :D
That conversation came to me during Maths- the only practical use of that horrible lesson :P I wanted McGonagall to be a bit more open, she's such a private person and I figured that she would be more susceptible to questions whilst grieving. If it were at any other time I doubt she would have answered. Yeah, teachers and students are always awkward around each other, no matter how well they get on with each other. Also again, men and crying girls :P James isn't used to women who aren't strong (he is mainly around Gryffindors after all) so he's inept at dealing with them during weak spots.
I completely agree, Dumbledore is an absolute nightmare to write, in my opinion, he's the hardest, JK crafts him in such a way that's hard to replicate. I haven't read HP in a while- I've forgotten how evasive he can be :P Thanks for reminding me ;)
Thanks so much for the review!