Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:sweet_lovely_girl says:
Hey there,
Woohoo, first review! :P
I wanted to say that I really like your characters. Especially how you wrote Mickey G. Hihi. At first the POV swap was a bit confusing, but I got over that pretty soon.
I think Your main character is really strong and believable. It's a very good thing that she knows her weaknesses. I do have some question about Lana concerning her origins, blood-status etc.
It is altogether written pretty well, but just a bit too... American. James Potter II would in my eyes never say Oh My Gosh. More like Oh My Merlin or something. And I would not use too much "like" if I were you. But if you were really trying to give this story an American twist, then go ahead. :) Also, wizards and witches usually don't know about muggle bands like One Direction, so either Lana is a half-blood or muggle-born or future witches and wizards are just so cool that they like muggle bands as well.
Your grammar is perfect. I think. :P
I liked the last part of this story as well, with Lana on the balcony, but again, you wrote her a bit too American-y in my opinion. ;)
My favourite quote of this chapter was: "After all, life isnít about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain." How did you come up with this? It's brilliant! :D
Alright, I'll stop talking and leave you for now. :)
Hope to be able to review the next chapter!

-Xxx- sweet_lovely_girl

Author's Response:
OHMYGOD.

MY FIRST REVIEW! AH! This is amazing, thank you so much for taking the time to review you're incredible! I screamed for legit 5 minutes straight when I saw this lol
Okay, so for the POV thing, how would I get it to be less confusing? I wasn't sure how to go about that while I was writing so any help you can give would be much appreciated :D
And, Lana's history, well... all questions will be answered in our later chapters, I didn't want to give too much away at once haha :P
I'm going to change James's Oh My Gosh to Oh My Merlin right after this, I totally didn't catch that lol
And then, I like to think of Lana as a cultured person so she knows both wizard and muggle music, regardless of whether she's muggleborn or a half blood or whatnot.
Do you have any advice on how I can make it less Americano? I'm american myself, so anything would be awesome haha
And the dancing in the rain ish is something my nani (grandma) says to me all the time. She's all about living in the moment and this is one her favorite sayings ever, so here it is!
Thanks so much for reviewing, your username describes you PERFECTLY, Miss sweet_lovely_girl!
You're my favorite person on planet earth, love you SO much,
xox, miluv


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 597
Submit Report: