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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi there! I couldn't resist reading a bit of Rose Scorpius vampire! ALSO! Happy Birthday! I read your Teddy story a while back and wanted an excuse to read something else of yours, so I hope I don't mind gobbling you up to review for myself :)

I really enjoy how quickly you started us off in the story. We got to see a bit or Rose's life with her cousins and her personality. You've really made her a diverse character. She has a nice dry sense of humor, a bit of a bookworm, but still enjoy sports. And I really enjoy that she gets along with her family, even if Dom may be a bit dramatic from the sounds of it :P

The tradition of the group going for drinks when someone is broken up with is so funny and awesome. It was a small detail that made our characters feel very close. I also liked Rose's reluctance to meet the eyes of the stranger, but now I'm really wish her friends would have stuck by her :(.

I think that the idea of no one paying attention to her obvious need for help sort of went against the very close group you built up previously. What if the stranger somehow lured her away? Like, he was normal when he went over there and discussed his book with her or something. Then when the group goes to leave, he can want to ask her a quick question and she can hang behind. Then that's when he can kidnap her? How you have it now doesn't take away from the story or anything, so feel free to ignore that :P

And Scorpius! And the blood! I LOVED that she accidentally drank it but that it was exactly what she needed!! That was a really great note to end your first chapter on.

What a compelling story! Your dialogue punctuation has a few issues here and there. Just things like:

"-apart from Flitch- He helpfully cut in.---

The 'h' in he should be lowercase. When what's coming next ties into the dialogue, that's always a lowercase unless it's a name or something :). Just little mechanical errors, nothing big!

I really liked the intensity that this started out with!! And I hope you had a wonderful birthday ♥

Author's Response: Eeeek! Thank you so so much for a loveeely detailed review! Thanks for pointing out about the grammar and punctuation - it was a very useful point - and I definitely agree about it not being so believable. Thanks for helping with the grammar too - I do struggle with it a bit :) I'm so glad you liked it - this AWESOME review made my week! It was so sweet and generous of you to review, thank you :D

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