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Review:nott theodore says:
Hello!

I really like your ideas for this story but I think you could improve your writing with longer sentences and scenes. I think you overuse short sentences a bit and so they don't have their full impact when you want to be really dramatic. Longer sentences and scenes would also help us to learn more about the characters and the plot.

Having said that (and I hope you don't think I'm being mean) I did enjoy this chapter. You portray Lucy's character well and really convey how much she feels like an outsider from her family - Scorpius was the only one who made her feel like she belonged and it turns out he's been cheating on her with Rose!

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I am puttin in a chapter now and I'm dedicating it to you because you are an awesome reviewer xx

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