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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi! I'm here for your review request! I'm sorry for the long wait, life has been hectic for the last few months that every time I think I can keep up with requests something happens again! But I am here and I hope you find this review helpful!

I think the flow of this story is fairly good. I like some of the emotional imagery you have here. It really helps us relate to Draco's agony of losing someone he cared about. Some of the flashback's you incorporated also helped us see who Catherine was and what she meant to him. it helped the rest of the story flow better because there were hints of how far he'd go for her. So it made sense in the end that he'd go to his death for her again. However, this AU story happened very quickly which did leave me with questions on how Draco got there. Since this didn't stick with canon there were times that I was left wondering about his backstory. I wouldn't expect you to be able to put all of it in here obviously but being choosey with what you insert so that the flow from the beginning and end goes smoothly.

Characterization- it's interesting because you have some traits that are very Draco here. Enough that i think it's easier to hang on to the story and care about the outcome. So that is good. There are bits that are OC and off canon which isn't necessarily bad because this is an AU. However, i think some backstory might help the readers better connect with him. It's harder to talk about characterization in this short piece simple because a lot of what we knew of Draco is changed and we're going on what you're seeing here. I think for an AU to work best we need to know a little more about the motivations of the character for it to be believed fully. For instance - Lucius abusing Draco - does Draco in this universe still run to his father for everything? Or has that running turned to Catherine? Those are just a couple questions that remain unanswered with you mentioning that. Or Draco going to the Order - how was Catherine involved with them? Why did she get involved? Why was Draco allowed to associate himself with her if she was against Voldemort? Although i think it's great that you have some clear indications of the differences with this world and HP world i think if you took it one step further in some of the explanations/motivations and characterizations of both Draco and Catherine you'd have an absolutely brilliant story.

I think you strongest point here is emotional intensity. I think you've done a great job showing his obsession with that one spell, how it affected his life, and how it drove him to commit suicide. You do let the readers feel it and even though there are some unanswered questions you still feel bad for the predicament he's in.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. Sorry about the delay in responding!

I am pleased you find the flow smooth, and you liked the emotional imagery. I wanted to show a glimpse into Catherine and Draco's relationship with the flashbacks but not go into too much depth, so I am glad you think it made the story flow better. Well the story was more of a snippet rather than a full story - I didn't want to go into a lot of detail since I wanted to focus on Draco's thoughts and feelings more - so thanks for your comments, and I'll still try to see what I can do to make it less "incomplete".

Its good to know that you found some Draco traits in this along with the AU ones as that was my intention - to show a mix of canon and non-canon traits. As I said before, I wasn't too keen on filling more details/backstory rather just focus on emotions, but after seeing your comments I'll try to add a little more backstory to make it more connectable. I'll also try to answer the questions you think are left unanswered when I do an edit.

I am glad you liked the emotional intensity and the spell-centering part.

Thanks so much for all your suggestions and comments, I'll keep them in mind when I edit this. Thanks a lot!


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