Hello there Katie! I meant to check this story out when you posted the link in the forums, as it had the Blacks in it, but I got insanely busy. Oh well Iím here now:D
I really liked how you started the story, as I always felt bad for Andromeda, as I felt that she suffered an enormous loss, losing her daughter, husband and son-in-law, yet no one seemed to recognise that, so I was really glad that you focused on that. It also had a rather ominous tone to it all, with ĎMalfoyí, being in italics, and then of course, the piece of paper, so it had a great start to the story, and definitely had a very dark theme.
Then the second section was great as well. I had a strange feeling about the Poppy girl, I couldnít really explain why, but I think it was mainly due to her rather strange attachment she had with Narcissa. It did seem odd that someone two years older than her would be so compelled to spend time with her. It was interesting to see how Narcissa viewed herself in regards to marriage, and it seemed as if she was just a piece of cattle going to be sold for the highest price. I noticed you capitalised the Ďsí in ĎSortedí, it looked a little odd as Iíve never seen that done before, so I thought I would point it out just in case it was misplaced :)
Wow the third section was just so chilling. The way she was contemplating who the author of this note could be, and then implying that she had committed a lot of bad things, due to her saying she had over five decades to choose them from. Then the big revelation at the end with her announcing she had killed before, I wasnít expecting that, but it somehow fitted in with the rest of the story really well. The transition between the differing years was seamless as well, and it didnít disrupt the flow at all.
Then the fourth section again was very chilling. It was nice to see that Lucius could be so romantic towards Narcissa as you donít often see that. I did find it a bit surprising that Narcissa gave Poppy the ring, so it made me suspect that there was more going on between them, and then the way she talked about the consequences of it was great.
The sixth and seventh section seemed to reveal more about Narcissaís chilling nature. The way she greeted Andromeda just seemed so scary, I think it was the description of her which preluded it which made it so haunting, as it contrasted with the smile. Then there was Poppy crying out for help, and Narcissa refusing to save her, and somehow Andromeda got caught up in it all as well.
It just gets more and more chilling! I was right about there being more between Narcissa and Poppy, and I found the explanation behind the first murder perfect. Narcissa seems the type to kill over jealousy, and the way she killed Poppy with the ring was great, as Poppy believed it was a gift of sorts from Lucius, but it was just a murder weapon. It was interesting to see Andromedaís part in it, and how she tried to save her with all her might.
Then the ending was brilliant! It perfectly tied in the story, and I loved the structure of it, as it was lead us back to the beginning again, and revealed everything. It was just brilliant, I canít really say anything more. It was haunting, chilling, exciting, revengeful, wah Iím running out of adjectives.
A definite 10/10 Iím so glad that I read this!
Author's Response: Hi Kiana! ♥ So sorry for the delay in responding to this review, but RL issues have been getting in the way. :( But thanks so much for your wonderfully long review; I wasn't expecting such a long one for something I hadn't requested! *.* I really appreciate it!
Thank you so much! I've had a couple of reviewers think that that was Narcissa, because of italicising the Malfoy (I think) so I love that you picked up on the whole resenting-her-sister sense I was trying to get here! :D And yes - it does revolve around a murder, so it would have to be dark! As dark as Black, teehee.
Poppy, I think, has her own issues - which I'm toying with exploring in another one-shot. But yes, she likes pretending to be other people. :P And Narcissa does live in the pure-blood hierarchy - her reputation, her wealth, her choice of husband all mean more than her own happiness. It's a sad way of thinking, but it does reflect her society at the time.
Ooh, it's great that you liked that particular section! I wanted it to be clear that Andromeda/Poppy wasn't innocent either. Her own murders of Death Eaters might have been during the two wars, but they were still killings. :P
Haha, yep. Poppy has a case of idol-worship when it comes to Narcissa, and she'd never believe how evil Narcissa really is. I really love visualizing Andromeda/Poppy's face when she realizes what the ring really is XD
That's great! Although... there's only one murder. ;) And woo for making you run out of adjectives! :P Thank you so much for stopping by and for the lovely review, I really appreciate it! ♥