Hello there! Iím here with your requested review, Iím glad that you found my other one helpful, so hopefully this one will be just as helpful!
I really liked the description at the beginning of this chapter, as it set a great scene for the rest of it, and I feel thatís one of the most important things in the story, so yay that you did that! I thought that it was interesting that you started off the story in the Forbidden Forest for two reasons. First of all, it meant that the story had quite a dark and mysterious element, which I really enjoy, and I find thatís something that lacks a lot in next gen stories. And secondly, the Forbidden Forest seems to be forgotten in fan fiction so I was glad it made an appearance here.
I noticed that you used ĎIí, a lot in this chapter, and if you look at the page you can see it pop out. Itís not a bad thing, itís just more of a style thing, and you might want to mix it up a bit, so it avoids getting repetitive.
I would also like to point out that we donít learn the name of the MC until the end of the chapter, and that meant we didnít feel as connected as we could have done, and I couldnít tell whether she was a canon characters child, or not, so it might be a good idea to introduce it earlier.
I liked how you established that the siblings had a good relationship, as you donít often see that in fan fiction, as theyíre usually screaming and throwing abuse at each other. You could tell how close they were, and how your MC was affected by his death so much. It was nice to throw in those observations she made about him, as they were really poignant, and showed how much she missed him.
I really liked the appearance of centaurs as Iíve never seen that before, and it worked really well, and let you know that Genevieve is unique, due to the fact that she sought them out. Again it ties in with the mystery you set up at the beginning, and I like that twist of next gen.
I really liked the flashback, as it conveyed a lot of emotion, and you could tell how hard it was for her. Even though Iíve barely met this Dan, I already felt incredibly saddened by his death, and I think it was because you portrayed the grieving process very well.
I liked the fact that she an animagus, as again it changed the usually clichť next gen era! Iím also looking forward to finding out how she became one.
I would perhaps make the gaps between the paragraphs smaller, so itís easier on the eye, and looks cleaner.
Other than that it was a very interesting prologue, and I can see that you have a really unique story set up, feel free to re-request when the next chapters up!
Author's Response: Ahhh, this review just made me so happy!
I've always felt that no one brings up the Forbidden Forest enough in fanfiction, so I figured, what better place to start my story? :)
I will definitely go look at all those I's... I hate being repetitive, so thanks for pointing that out! I also do need to move her name up... actually, when I first wrote it, I completely forgot to throw it in altogether, so it ended up in a really random place.
I've always loved seeing siblings with good relationships, especially when they are their own best friends, so the idea came naturally. The centaurs were actually very interesting to write, and I eventually pulled out one of the HP books to look at their behavior again!
The flashback was kind of a last-minute addition, but I really like it too. :)
I will fix those gaps too! It always looks fine on word, and gets so strange on here. :)
Thanks for the review!