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Review:Courtney Dark says:
Hey there! It's Courtney, here for your requested review.

I actually really enjoyed this first chapter. I thought it was a great start to what looks as though is going to be a very promising novel. It was light, fluffy and easy to read - an aspect which I think is important for the first chapter of a story (unless it's an intense mystery full of action, obviously.) The flow was great and I really liked the way you went from first year to second to third without making the whole chapter disjointed and awkward to read. In fact, the way you made your transitions from each year was really well done, and I liked the way you summed it all up at the end, too. It made me eager to read more!

Though this prologue obviously takes place when your characters are younger, and I can see that James is looking back on his past experiences, rather than actually experiencing them (I always love this style for a prologue) I think your characterizations were great - of James especially. Even during the sorting we can see that he is a bold, confident character. He's certain that he's going to be in Gryffindor and clearly has a lot of family pride. Later on, in the second and first year we certainly see a little of that classic James Potter arrogance developing, so that was nice as well.

I'm interesting to learn more about your other characters, especially Fred (because I love him) and Madison. She also seems to be quite a strong character, which I think is a good match for James and she definitely has quite a few similarities to Lily. However, I really like the fact that she comes from a classically 'bad' family. And though she's basically good, and got sorted into Gryffindor, from this character I can tell that she definitely does have some Flint traits, which I really like. I can already tell that she's not going to be a perfect, Mary Sue character - that she's going to have some sass and perhaps a bit of a temper.

There were lots of little details in this chapter that I really liked, and that definitely took it up several levels. I especially liked that you mentioned Harry was amused when James told him Madison had called him an arrogant toerag.

I don't really have any CC's for this chapter, and is was pretty amazing. However, just be careful to make sure your story isn't TOO similar to the story of James and Lily (but you probably know that already.) Other than that, this was an amazing start, and I'd love to read more!


Author's Response: Reading this review just made me so happy! :)

I'm glad it flowed well, that was one thing that kind of worried me about writing a prologue like this. :)

I love drawing similarities between both James I and II, so I'm glad you saw them too. Both Madison and Fred will develop more as the story progresses. Fred is actually one of my favorites to write. :)

That part with Harry was a favorite of mine as well, because it kind of shows Harry as the link between the two generations.

Thanks for reviewing!


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