First off, I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read and review my silly stories :D.
Also, getting reads is really hard on this site now. Back before the books and films were finished, this site was just bursting with readers. It comes down to advertising now, or updating quickly.
Requesting reviews like this is a good start :D, the more reviews you have (sadly), the more people read your story. Oh, and if you're constantly updating and adding to your story, more people will read it because a good chunk of readers don't like only reading a couple chapters into a new story. I know when I started out, I'd only read finished works because a lot of authors abandon their works.
So, to sum that all up: Just keep writing and readers will come and go. Do it for the love of creating characters and plots :D
Phew, okay now on to reviewing:
The owner's name is Jack?! Jack is a good name! Especially for a restaurant named "The Beanstalk". How clever!
For some reason, I didn't realize your character was a guy until he saw Lily walk in...I feel stupid now. I don't think that's anything you did, I just want you to laugh at how silly that was for me to do.
The first encounter: perfect! Just as awkward as any guy is in front of a beautiful girl. Way to nail it.
I really like the idea behind this work, there are a few grammatical errors here and there. If you want, you could get a beta-reader to read through your work and fix silly things like that.
Anyways, it's an awesome start! The characters seem strong, and it flows really well. I'd suggest just advertising it more on the forums to get more reads. Oh, and update so that readers trust you enough to start reading it (there are a lot of abandoned works on this site).
Cool, feel free to re-request :D
Author's Response: Hey,
That was the longest review I've got so far! Awesome! Thank you for that!
I think it's sad that so many people abondon really good stories. It makes me check to see if it is recently added before I start reading a WIP story.
Even sadder is the fact that people base the quality of a story on the number of reviews... I like to read stories with few reviews and write to those authors, just to make their day a little more fun... Since I know how much fun it is to get a review.
I won't abondon this story to soon though, I like it. I like it too much, really. That's why it makes me sad that there are so few readers for it...
It sounds a bit silly maybe, but is Neil really a name for a girl? Not to make fun of you or anything, just wondering...
Thanks for noticing my clever little joke with Jack and the Beanstalk. I kind of like to put those things in story and I like to find them in others. I makes me smile :)
I can imagine that you like it, I would love to find my own name in a story, that's something that has not happened to me before.
I think you'll like the rest of this story too, if you like the first chapter... Neil is just really an awkward guy, he like Lily a lot and though she shows some interest she's a little distant at the start...
I don't know if asking here is enough so i'll aks on the forum too, but would you like to review the next chapter as well?
I'd love to know what you think of it. I know I liked to write it.
If you have any tips on how to bring humor into a story let me know, I find it hard to do somehow.
Anyways. Thanks for the great review and I hope to get an other one in the future.