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Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there! Nice to see you pop up in the review battle again ;)

So, first off, I've never read anything in quite this style of writing before. It's almost poem- or song-like, instead of heavy prose, which I really liked and thought went perfectly with the title. I think, in a way, it worked because it kinda lacked... well, most things, lol. Description, dialogue, etc. It was basic, simplistic and yet a compact and touching story. Plus, only 501 words? Well done! You have my respect - I could never write anything that short... it would kill me.

I love the way you go through the last few years of the war and beyond and Draco's life during them. Starting from when he was given the task by the Dark Lord was such a good idea - it really worked and I loved the way you talked about it. Like he was literally the opposite of Harry. The Dark Lord's chosen one, rather than Dumbledore's. Just be aware of repetition - I'm not totally sure if it worked in the first paragraph... it reads a bit weirdly, you know, but I really got what you meant by it, so... *shrugs* Up to you, I think! :)

I loved how you developed his character as well, throughout that time period and only really mentioned other characters when necessary, and even then only when they were important. It would have been so easy to mention, say, Harry or someone, but it worked so well with so few mentions.

Astoria! :) I'm a big Draco/Astoria fan, so I always love it when people include her. I like the way you made her approach him and the way he just watched her in a cafe. It could have come off as creepy, you know just staring at someone, but because it was only in a cafe and he was, really, too scared to do anything about it (let's face it, lol), it just wasn't. I liked the references to the coffee as well - the whole bitter/sweet dichotomy.

Ah, the end! I have to mention this - at the beginning I genuinely thought he was going to die. I thought you were going to kill him off, and nearly laughed at myself at the end, because of course one song can't still play when another song starts, and it made so much sense, then. But yeah, blonde moment :) And I loved how you linked it back to the beginning, making it feel almost cyclical in the sense that each time it's kinda a new adventure or chapter in his life and he changes each time. I liked that.

I really, really enjoyed this. It was lovely. In answer to your bunch of questions at the bottom, I'd say don't try and write everything like this - it's a pretty specific style and while it worked fabulously here, it might not elsewhere, you know? But yeah, this was wonderful :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Ah, the battle for reviews is a neverending war, is it not? One can simply not lie low for too long!

I never thought of it that way, that the actual style tied in with the title! I'm not a poetry kind of person, so the thought never crossed my mind! Wow! Thanks for pointing that out!

The story lacks like everything, partly because I wanted to challenge myself, partly because I was lazy, and partly because description scares me. I'm glad to hear that it still worked! And I tend to err on the overly wordy side from time to time, so this was actually really hard! I think I had 499 words at one point, and then I rewrote a bit of it, and ended up with 520 words all of sudden!

Draco was just such an angsty character at the time, and the quote felt a bit angsty as well, so I thought I'd give it a go! And I know the repetition of which you speak! It's probably my least favourite part and kept me up late at night! I'll definitely try and rework it at some point, because it really annoys me.

I'm glad to hear that you thought Draco progressed well. Whilst writing it, I felt like I wasn't doing enough to him, so I'm super happy to hear that you liked it!

I'M SUCH A HUGE DRACO/ASTORIA FAN! Who cares if we've never met her? I just really want their story to be super-romantic, is all! If someone ever watched me in a cafe like that, I'd be pretty creeped out, but because it was Draco and Astoria, I didn't feel so weird about it!

You thought he was going to die? Really? To me, the quote always had a ray of hope somewhere hidden inside it, simply because (DW spoilers alert!) even though the quote signals the end to the reign of the Tenth Doctor, it also heralds the beginning of an Eleventh Doctor, and I guess the great Circle of Life continues... guess who watches Doctor Who and Lion King too intensely?

And definitely - the writing style simply wouldn't work for other stuff!

Thanks for such a wonderful review!


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