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Review:academica says:
Oh, I love your fact-filled author's note! It makes me nostalgic, and now I want to finish up the next chapter of my Founders novel. Never fear, I'll be sure to finish this review and post it for you first!

I like the cute way that Edith and Alastor joined up in this chapter. It's nice to see Moody not being totally competent at everything he tries. I always thought that he was the kind of man who could appreciate a woman's unique strengths, and I can see that he has some respect for Edith already.

The little 'interrogation' was kind of interesting, too. I can see how Moody would fit in in such a no-nonsense environment, and how he would be perfectly happy being ordered around by Edith. I imagine that adult Moody took quite a bit from his experience in this place, and it'll be neat to watch his character develop as he gets to know Edith.

One thing I did notice is that you sometimes end paragraphs of dialogue with a comma and nothing else. If it's the end of a sentence, feel free to use a period or other punctuation mark. If there's some action after the dialogue (i.e., 'she said', 'he told her'), then you would need to use the comma. There's a great tutorial on the forums if you need it.

Well, that's it for now. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all of the kind reviews you've been leaving me and I hope these brighten your day and help you out a little with your new project :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Why hello again Amanda! I had to restrain how many facts I put into that author's note, I could have gone on for much longer :P I've always though of Alastor as very much a mummy's boy, not in the sense that he can't do anything without his mother, but rather he favours his mother over his father. I don't know why, but that's just how I imagined him, growing up in the country with his mother. Edith is definitely a no-nonsense sort of person, for sure, and it will be interesting to see how their relationship develops ;)

I didn't know that! I blame GCSE English, there's not nearly enough focus on writing, it's more analysis, so we don't learn things like punctuation or grammar even though it's paramount to essay writing and writing in general... Thanks for pointing that out, I'm going to edit accordingly :D

Thanks so much again for the reviews and the support, I can't say how much I appreciate it!


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