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Review:academica says:
Hi Aisha! Just dropping by for a review.

I really love the imagery in this chapter. I was especially fond of the part where her internal conversation flowed from 'mutiny' to 'mutations.' It was a subtle way to allude to the cause of her death without having to plaster it across the chapter. I also liked the contrast you drew between Edith's failing body and her unbroken spirit.

I think the only thing that felt a little off was the ending. I like the suddenness of it and the shock value, but it seemed almost a bit too sudden. I think you could add in a little bit more about her sinking into her pillows and fading away into sleep, just something to help bridge that gap more.

Nice start! I'm on to the next chapter.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Amanda :D You came! Usually my introduction chapters are my favourite, but with this story I didn't get that same kind of feeling, so to have that pointed out helps ;) Thanks so much for the review and the support that you've given me!

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