Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Nicte says:
Hi again! I'm here with your requested review.

It was nice to get to know Maddison a little bit more in this chapter, I still have a lot of questions and the feeling that she has yet to be developed, but that's okay, since it's the first chapter where she is properly presented.

I'm not sure why Maddy would think that Potter would put her off the limits of his friends, because (if it's like anything about James I and Lily's story) she just thinks that he is playing around and wants to get her because he sees her as "unreachable" (but that's only my point of view).

Anyway, while I love the resemblance between James I and II, I'm not really into the whole "Mini-Marauders" idea (but again, that's only me). Also, maybe you could think again about James' height? It's known that the Potters are not really tall people, although the gene could come from the Weasleys.

I love the humour that you give to your story. Maybe they're just small phrases, but they manage to make me laugh.

So, I'm really pleased with this second chapter, I've noticed a lot of things that I pointed out in my first review being covered but I feel the need to say that even with her insecurities, I have this feeling that Maddy is bordering the Mary-Sue line, which should be handled carefully. Also, I've noticed a few clichés here and then and may I say, for the future, try to avoid them and invent different, fun situations, because I'm sure that you can come up with something even more awesome.

I love your story and I can't wait to keep on reading it (and I really hope I wasn't too harsh this time, let me know if I was!) :)

Thanks for requesting again, I'm enjoying reviewing this story!

Author's Response: Don't worry, you're not being too harsh, I love reading people's opinions! :)

Hopefully the upcoming chapters will kind of get you better acquainted to Madison.

Madison also has a slightly different view of James's constant asking her out, and I think that ends up better shown in some of the later chapters.

That Mini-Marauders thing actually doesn't extend past this chapter, it just somehow got put in here once or twice. I should probably go back and fix that, now that you mention it... :)

Also, I think the Potters were actually quite tall family. Although Dan may not be so, in the books. Rowling did call both Harry and James tall.

I'm glad you like my sense of humor. Most of my commentary is things that would run through my mind were I in a lot of those situations.

Personally, I'm not especially focused on avoiding clichés altogether, because while I know too many of them ruins a story, I think sometimes having a few here and there kind of adds to the story in its own weird way. But hey, that's just my opinion. :)

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 383
Submit Report: