|Review:||Athene Goodstrength says:|
So, this was really sweet! Your characterisation of Fleur is really thoughtful, and it makes perfect sense. I've never thought of her as being an outsider, but it really works. She's the most beautiful, the 'champion', the foreigner... and actually she's treated with disdain by a lot of people, and with fascination, as you so interestingly point out, from the boys.
I always wondered how she and Bill could come to be together, apart from the fact that hey, they're both gorgeous. But this story is a really believable explanation - she sees in Bill something refreshing, something 'cool' (that Harry notices the first time he meets Bill!), and then there's that inexplicable, irresistible attraction.
You do a really good job of writing that sort of gut feeling, this is The One, I-need-to-be-with-him, strange thing that sometimes happens. The way Bill's presence makes Fleur react differently to how acts around anyone else is interesting, as she's often described as arrogant or haughty and that doesn't seem like something any Weasley would find attractive. So maybe he's a good influence on her - I think he helps her relax and let down her defences, and that's certainly the way your writing makes it seem.
It does seem very Fleur-y to decide to just move to England because she'd found what she wanted. She's very headstrong, and that really comes across here, even when she gets nervous around Bill!
Your exploration of her relationship with Cedric was really interesting. I love the way she seems to like polite, friendly boys who are possibly not interested! I'd definitely be interested in reading more about her time at Hogwarts.
I liked the way Harry kept popping up throughout the story like a weird little cupid! And Fleur's frustration at the British press made me laugh - how very topical! Although, it is the French who publish naughty photos of our royals *shakes head*
I liked the bits in French, too. Nice to see!
The only thing I thought odd was the fact that Fleur's English is actually very good. I know you don't want her to be stumbling all over her words as you don't want the dialogue to get clunky, but I think her words roll a little too easily off her tongue. Maybe she could pause or stumble over a word if you wanted her language to be an issue she and Bill would talk about, and he could help her? Or, if it's in fact a ruse so that she could spend time with Bill, make that clear! (although this Fleur doesn't feel manipulative like that at all to me!)
This story was really sweet and enjoyable, with an interesting glimpse into Fleur's life at that particular butterfly-inducing, heart-beaty time.
Also, Visenya did you a really beautiful banner for this! It really caught my eye.
Author's Response: Hi Sarah, thank you so much for stopping by, and leaving me such a long and lovely review!
Iâm glad that you liked Fleurâs characterisation, as I always thought that she would be a bit of an outsider, due to her being the âchampionâ, as most people envy the person who holds that position, so I thought it would fit, and yes I always thought it was horrible how the boys viewed her.
Iâm glad that you liked how Bill and Fleur came to be, as I thought Bill may have helped calm down Fleurâs girliness, perhaps made her into the strong character we come to see at the end of HBP :)
Yes I thought it would be funny to make her interested in the one person whoâs not interested in her, as it shows that even though she was one of the most beautiful people around, she still canât get everything, and that not everyone would fall in love with her, so she shouldnât be envied so much.
Haha I didnât think of Harry playing cupid, now I just have images of him running around with a bow and arrow! Yes our press donât have a great reputation right now, but I completely forgot about how naughty the French were! How dare they be mean to Kate :O
I know it may sound strange, but it was hard to make her English bad. I looked in the books, but that was after he helped her, so of course she would be good then, but I will definitely go back, and add in the stumbling. I donât think Fleur would be manipulative sheâs too lovely!
Iâm really glad that you liked the story, and yes Visenya did do a wonderful banner!