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Review:adluvshp says:
AditiDraco95 from the forums here with your requested review!

You seem to be doing a pretty good job with the story so far. I liked the way this chapter opened with Draco's thoughts. I also enjoyed the descriptions and imagery you incorporated in the beginning to express Draco's feelings. His reactions/thoughts were quite realistic owing to the situation, and the interaction he had with his wife was fitting.

Mikaela's point of view was also captured well. I liked the direction her thoughts were in - the way she was confused, angry, and anxious at the same time. The way she was behaving was quite believable - I think any girl in her situation would be going through a similar commotion of emotions. I also liked how you maintained the "slytherin" image of her throughout. I chuckled at the part where she berates herself for thinking like a Hufflepuff, haha. I also like that she's into muggle technology, which indirectly tells us that the Malfoys have given up their old ways.

As for CCs and advice, I'd just that I was pleased to see that this chapter flowed more smoothly than the previous one, and seemed far less rushed, so good job. I would like to know more about Draco and his "personal" life though, like his relationship with his wife etc. You only touched upon it but it'd be great to delve into it further. Also, I'd like to see some of the mother-daughter bond between Mikaela and Astoria, so it'd be great if you explore their relationship further. Technicality-wise, I'd say to break up your big/long paragraphs into shorter ones to ease up the flow more.

Apart from that, this was all pretty good. I am liking the story so far, and I am eager to see how the plot thickens and things turn out. Good going!

8/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

P.S. Feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Hi there
You are the first one ever to ratee my storyy :D
Yay!
You're in luck the next chapter would be something like that. I am soo excited noww! Thankyou soo muchh! :)
Em


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