|Review:||Toujours Padfoot says:|
Lol, a dog versus a bird. LIKE RUNNING ON FOOT COULD BEAT A PAIR OF WINGS. Beth is totally going to win that race.
This chapter had a lot of emotional highs and lows - it was depressing because this was James's last birthday and he didn't know it, and because Beth told Lily she and James will be fine when they won't be; and Harry is happier now than he is going to be for the next ten years. The best moments of his young life, and he won't even remember them. The spit bubbles, his mum running her fingers through his hair, getting to stay up late babbling at guests - it'll all be stamped out and he'll be left with 'your no-good parents died in a car crash'. And it's just sad. DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN, BETH. DON'T GO ALL REMUS ON US AND STAY OUT OF HIS LIFE UNTIL HE'S LIKE THIRTEEN.
(Leave it to me to focus on the darkest part of the cloud instead of the silver lining.)
And then Peter. Every time he speaks, I think I bare my teeth. Offering to help Beth when the sneaky little rat is...ugh...okay. *deep breath* It is so difficult to put up with him. And I didn't like the looks Beth was getting from Moody, and the allusions from all sides that people were discussing her behind her back to Dumbledore and each other. She's already humiliated enough having to start grunt work instead of missions; whispering about it adds insult to injury. I felt so uncomfortable and embarrassed for her, but also defiant in the same way she did. Beth might not be performing at peak levels, but she's strong. She's pushing through it day by day. ♥
I AM VERY INTERESTED IN THIS DEVELOPMENT. I think you mentioned something about this to me before, but now I'm wondering how the boys intend to help her. What can they possibly do? They can't undo what's already done, or what's the point of doing it in the first place? I DON'T KNOW WHICH DIRECTION I SHOULD BE GUESSING.
I like these glimmers of hope starting to crop up. I'm always seeing hope in places that aren't really there D: so it's reassuring that in some ways, things might start to look up soon (?). BUT IN OTHER WAYS THINGS ARE HORRIBLE. JUST REALLY HORRIBLE.
-dies inside again-
I came to the conclusion somewhere at the beginning of this chapter that after Breaking Even, I'm not reading James/Lily ever again, unless it's AU or takes place before their deaths. Living it right now, and knowing what lies in their future, is emotionally exhausting. It feels like slowly watching a friend die, knowing it's going to happen, and being unable to prevent it. I cannot read angsty James/Lily or Peter's betrayal or Sirius getting shipped off to prison, or Severus enduring everything, ever again. And that is perfectly fine with me because your canon encompasses all of it so thoroughly and believably that it will forever be the way it happened, end of story.
I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS.
Author's Response: In my head, Beth completely dominated that race. She was waiting for Sirius at the end, preening her feathers, and he sulked for the rest of the evening, and it was lovely. ♥
LOL SO MUCH AT YOU MAKING A ONCE-LIGHTHEARTED CHAPTER INTO SADNESS. You're turning into me, yo. I'm rubbing off on you. Although I suppose it was a bit cruel of me, having such lightness and happiness and knowing that quite soon, I'm basically going to be yanking a lot of that away from people. Now I feel sort of mean.
Can I seriously just say how much it means to me that you still find Beth strong in this story? In my head, she is a VERY strong character, but midway through writing this I got so annoyed with her because she was being so moody and mopey and whatever. And she kind of has right to be, and you know it's all my fault anyway, but leave it to me to write holes into ALL MY STORIES. But knowing you're still out there rooting for her makes me very pleased, beyond pleased. ♥ She needs that kind of support, fictional or no. I need that kind of support! And that is part of what makes you so wonderful as a reviewer and a friend: You are always there to provide it.
I can give you no hints about the boys -- and for all I know and remember, I've probably spilled the beans to you, anyway. YOU SHOULD JUST BE VERY PROUD OF THEM IN ADVANCE, BECAUSE I AM. ♥ Things start to look up at some point, though, I do promise that!
I am forever honored to be your James/Lily canon. (Although I completely, fully know what you mean -- I don't think I can write canon James and Lily like this ever again because it is thoroughly exhausting at times, knowing everything this generation went through. J.K. Rowling is so cruel.)
VIRTUAL HUGS FOR YOUR POOR BRUISED FEELINGS. ♥ Thank you for your review!!