Once again, I was trying a running review. Nope. Youíre right, Dan absolutely has the market on those. haha.
And weíre finally getting a clue to the first chapter! eeek! honestly, I was so interested in Lily and her Scoprius happenings, that I nearly forgot about the entire other plot twisting around in this that deals with our lovely ALIVE Severus.
I loved that Lily got in trouble for the amount of rules she broke. They were little ones, but built up all in the same day, they just couldnít go unnoticed. Lilyís fit brought back too many memories. I canít even believe the way I acted during certain teenage times when I thought something so very unfair. And Iím sure Lily will feel that way someday ;). She felt so, so real in this chapter. Her reaction to being grounded was so sixteen year old girl, but at the same time itís easy to understand her anger. She didnít do anything too bad, and sheís so close to being seventeen! But she also didnít make the best choices. Iím starting to really consider what Al said about Scoprius.
Speaking of Al! I am so thrilled that you had him realizing right away what was done to him. I was thinking that it seemed a bit unrealistic that heíd grow up with the Weasleys and not be able to recognize on of their tricks, and then he did! It was sweet of him not to rat her out. She probably has a list of things to tell on him for, though. Sibling survival. Haha. I donít know who I agree with more. Lily for agreeing to meet Scoprius, or Albus for warning what only a week with him has already done to her.
I am trying so hard to make my brain piece together what could be happening with all these mysteries. The circumstances of Narcissaís death, or I suppose how it was all handled, somebody searching for something and the clue that Lily found. And Iím getting pouty because Iím already nearing the last chapter! You better get to writing, missy. I want one chapter of OtE sequel and one chapter of this by tomorrow, yes? :P
I think that youíve made Ginny a really realistic mother. And yes, I realize how jumpy this review is. I keep forgetting about things I want to comment on :P. Anyway, I love that she just seems like a normal mom. She gets mad at her children for things that a mom would get mad about, she goes to work, she gets things done. It doesnít matter thatís Harry Potterís wife or a famous ex Quiddich player. And her reaction to Albusís injury - perfect! I canít say I blame him for not wanting to go to St. Mungos. Not only does he already realize whatís wrong with him, but like he really wants someone staring at his buns. With his luck, heíd probably get a cute nurse, too.
Very excited for the next chapter, mídear ♥!
Author's Response: I'm not one of those people who likes to go back and read their own writing, but I took a look at this chapter again this morning so I could write a better reply to your review and...yikes! Let's just hope I've improved a bit in the last 15 months since I wrote this.
Yay for Lily coming off as realistic! Writing Rose was easy since we are so close in age, but it's been a few years since I was 16. Looking back, there are parts where I think I wrote her a little on the young side. I was aiming more for naive/inexperienced, but... I'm glad you liked her getting grounded though. I see a lot of stories where teenagers seem to run around totally unsupervised. Maybe it's just me, but my butt got grounded a lot as a teenager :P
I see Al as pretty wise, just not super mature. Lily's no match for him with her less-than brilliant scheme. I think Ginny probably had a good hunch too what was really going on, or would have if she'd cared to really figure it out, but I think at this point in her life, she's not concerned about the little stuff anymore. Lily running off and doing magic in the street? Yes. Her putting boils on her brother's butt... not so much. I'm glad you like her character though. I don't push her outside the "mom" roll too much only because that's really all Lily sees her as. I know for me, I didn't start seeing my parents as actual human beings until I moved out.
I'm so happy you like the building mystery. The next chapter has some clues in it regarding what happened to Narcissa. I'm interested to see if you think I give too much away.
Thanks for another lovely review!! Hopefully I'll have a new chapter to post on SOMETHING in the next week or so :D