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Review:academica says:
Hey Kiana! Team Blue, Team Blue! -cheers-

I really like Bill and Fleur and think that they're somewhat underappreciated, so it was good to see that you'd written a one-shot about them. I liked your characterization of Fleur a lot, especially the part where the other girls from her school seemed to think of her as being something special, but she just wanted to fit in and viewed herself as normal. It was nice to see the more insecure, unsure side of her.

A couple tiny things stuck out to me as potential ways for making this even better. For one, I felt a little confused during the transition from Cedric to Bill; it seemed like Fleur cared about Cedric, but then when she met Bill, she realized her feelings for Cedric hadn't really meant anything at all. It's romantic to see her fall so readily for Bill, but at the same time, I think it would be more realistic for her to have some trouble reconciling her hurt at losing Cedric with her newfound attraction to Bill. I hope that makes sense to you.

The only other thing was the transition from Fleur's recollection of her journey toward the scene at Gringotts into the actual present-day scene. It took me a minute to figure out that the Gringotts scene was playing out in real time, and I think part of it was some awkwardness in the flow and phrasing. You might just want to go back and re-read it again.

Overall, this was really nice. I liked how you drew in lots of elements from canon, like the way that Fleur and Bill connected over their faith in Harry. This was a very cute, fluffy little one-shot :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Haha hi Amanda! *joins in cheering!*

I'm glad that you liked the unsure side to Fleur, as I wasn't too sure if anyone would like it, considering how brash and bold she can be in real life! I guess that might have been done to show that she is insecure at times!

I wasn't really sure how to show the transition from Cedric to Bill, and tried a couple of things, and none seemed to work. So I left it how it is and hoped for the best! I really like your suggestion though, and I think I will work it in some how :)

I didn't realise that I missed a time phrase out, I meant to go back and include one, as I realised it would be a little confusing, so I'll actually include one this time ;)

I'm glad that you liked the canon elements, as I can't help but include them! I'm glad that you liked it, as I tend to avoid writing overtly fluffy scenes, as they make me cringe, so it's good to find that people liked it!

-Kiana :D


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