Hello there! Iím here with your review!
I loved the beginning of this chapter. It made me smile to see how dedicated to his job Oliver is, and the fact that he still had his old quidditch model made me laugh. I can just imagine him playing with it, when he got bored.
I liked the banter between Wood, and the team before they started training. It, again, reminded me of his old practises, and I did feel really sorry for the team as I know how horrible it is, to be woken that early. That banter also allowed us to get to know the rest of the team better, as at the moment we only really knew a few of them, so this was a great thing to do.
There not the type of people you would expect to find on a quidditch team with their drinking, smoking and fighting, but I think thatís what makes them all so special, as it is really endearing when they do try, as itís so unexpected, you canít help but feel insanely proud for them.
Haha I loved the ending! I can understand that it must hurt Oliver, that James Potter was the cause of all of his troubles, as his dad used to be on the same team as him, now his son is preventing his team from getting any better. It does explain the worn down state of the stadium, and it all fitted in well. Iím still hoping for them to play a match against the Chudley Canons, just to see how bad it would be!
The only CC I would give, is that the majority of this chapter was dialogue. Though that was really good, as you write it well, and it was funny, it doesnít leave much room for description, so perhaps if you included more in the next chapter, so we get a better sense of the surroundings :)
It was another great chapter though, and made me laugh all the way through!
Author's Response: Yes, Oliver is rather dedicated! I think, even though the team really are 'no-hopers', he still can't help but believe in them, even just a small bit!
Being woken up early is one of the worst things, ever. I'm trying to give everyone a voice, so we get to know everyone instead of just zoning in on a few characters and having the rest pop in and out when needed!
They aren't exactly the model athletes, but you're right, when they try, you just feel so proud! I'm worse than an over-enthusiastic mother on the sidelines screeched 'Go get 'em!'
Yes, that really did hurt Oliver, and I'm pretty sure he won't be able to keep that anger in for too long. . . .
And a match against the Chudley Cannons. . . . interesting. . . .I'll se what I can do!
Yes, description is one of my weaker points. . . .I promise to add in more next time!
Thank you for the review :D