Don't worry, it wasn't too early to re-request :). I'm here to (finally) review your second chapter! This story really is enjoyable to read. The narrative is humorous, and the plot is unique!
First off, Regulus Black is a boss! Oh man, Ellie is my favorite, but Black is a close second. I think this is because of the way Ellie described his actions. I was just giggling over each line!
Geez, okay. This story just made my favorites, AND you have to update soon. I'm not going to even try to say anything more about this work. Instead, I'm going to list my favorite quotes and we're going to laugh about them, together:
-Ellie on the appearance of Regulus: "And dead, but who really cared about such trivial things?"
-Ellie on Regulus' smirk: "Yeah-I-almost-defeated-the-Dark-Lord-so-I'm-trying-to-be-humble"
-Ellie, after she asked Regulus if he knew he is dead: "Was a dead dude actually looking at me like I was stupid? The nerve!"
-Ellie on Regulus' cryptic messages: "Dead or not, teenage males were annoying as hell."
-Regulus on why he's still around: "Kitchen designs fascinate me."
-An epic Ellie narrative: "I was still aggressively trying to drink my water."
-Regulus on death: ". . .You get to wear those cool White robes, and chill in the clouds with Jesus (I choked on my own laughter at that part), and there's free wifi..."
-Regulus, leaving: "And I have to go. TTYL!"
-The closing statement: "But not before she hit me right in the feels."
Also, the Doctor Who references made me chuckle too. Bravo, my fellow Whovian, bravo.
Let's see, there wasn't a time when I skipped over any section of the chapter, because it was all marvelously hilarious (Two really long words to describe your comedy. Feel flattered!).
Oh, I did notice you have everything in the past tense, which is fine, but it might sound better if you put things in the present tense. Did that make sense? No?
Example: Noticing my glare, he grinned again. I could see and talk to ghosts, but I canít actually touch them, so I knew it would be futile to take a swing at his face to wipe that stupid smile off his face.
You can change that to: Noticing my glare, he grins again. I can see and talk to ghosts, but I can't actually touch them, so I know it would be futile to take a swing at his face to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face.
It's not really a big deal, because everything else in your story is epic!
Anyways, I'm going to clean the "geek" off of my laptop. Thanks for the great read!
Author's Response: Hello! And thanks for dropping by!
Do you know, that I actually blushed whilst reading this? Seriously. This review is just so wonderful and flattering, that I sat in my bed and blushed for like five minutes straight. It was the weirdest thing.
Regulus Black, indeed, is a boss. I wanted him to be more like Sirius is often portrayed, just because I think it would be really fun to play off that character mould. It is nice to hear that you have let Ellie into your heart. She's not perfect, but I'm glad to hear she's still likeable.
As far as updates go, I'm halfway through the next chapter, which is nice, but I have to figure out how to start the other half. After that, it'll be all smooth sailing!
And I get what you mean about changing the tense from time to time. I'm terrible at tenses, so I tried really hard, especially in this chapter, to keep the tenses consistent. I think I'll have to work on making it feel natural, rather than correct all the time! Thanks for the advice though!
Thanks again for the amazing review! And as for cleaning the geek off your laptop - geek slime thickly coats practically everything I own. I salute you for attempting to clean that stuff off, because it's sticky!