Hi Miss Snaky! Hiss!
I think that you made a good choice by having Albus do a decent job acting normal in front of Lexiís dad before he knew. Iím sure it was nothing but difficult, sitting next to the girl you got pregnant and her father and pretending like nothing was out of the ordinary. But still, he pulled it off really smoothly. I liked that Lexiís dadís suggestion about taking Lexi with him because she wonít visit if she doesnít like it. It has just enough irony. He has no idea how much she needs to like the house, considering her child will be spending a significant amount of time there, and I just couldnít help but giggle.
I think that Alís rationalization of why to tell the different families was perfect. Although I did feel like this could have been a good section to give us more of a feel on these families. If Lexi would have argued that they tell her family first because her dad is more understanding and then his second because his mum will be so angry, or tell his family first because they are more aware of how often this thing happens, and her dad second because theyíll need Alís family to calm them down... Iím not saying any of that is true. But, when telling something so huge like is, it would build up the readers anticipation if we have sort of an idea what these families are like. I wasnít really expecting anything from Lexiís family except for her brother to go crazy, which he did. And Iím not really expecting anything from the Potter family. But if you were to edit in more of the conversation between these two about whose family to tell first and why, then eventually settle on telling each separately, we WILL have something to expect so seeing if it goes the way that the kids think it will can really bring heightened sense of anticipation.
I really, really loved Lexiís line to her mother. We know that they arenít close, and that just further demonstrates how deep the gap between them is. Her daughter could care less about her opinion and her son didnít even want to be there because she was coming...geeze. The woman has really burned her bridges.
I also love that youíve made her dad so awesome. I feel like he almost makes up for her being terrible. He cares a lot about his children, heís accepting of his son so we know that he isnít judgmental, he pays enough attention Lexi so that he even knows a lot about her best friend. heís just all around a really good guy and I love that youíve made one of her parents that way.
Iím going to back up a bit to Lexiís fears of Astoria knowing, because I forgot to mention that before. I wonder if sheís being paranoid, or if her aunt really DOES know? Women are terribly intuitive, and maybe there was a reason she squeezed her *above* the stomach? I totally bet when her and Draco go home, sheís going to be saying, I told you so, haha. I really love that you include those small details, by the way. Iím sure nothing will ever come out of that mention of Astoria, but it just made Lexi more realistic. Your aunt looking at you in any way and hugging you above your stomach can be nothing, but to a girl whoís about to tell everyone sheís pregnant, itís a huge deal. And having Lexi be all paranoid really took her character to such a realistic place.
Lexi getting sort of sidetracked sometimes, like when sheís thinking about her family then goes to her mom then goes to another story for another day, those are also little things I love. You write first person point of view really, really realistically!
This was a lovely chapter, mídear!! Iím excited to continue!