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Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there! Thanks for the swap! :)

Funny thing, this is the second daughter-of-Draco-Malfoy-centric story I've read today, and the last one I read before that was years ago... it's like a throwback to the past, lol.

First off, I love that you've chosen to do it in first person voice. I know it's pretty common with OCs, but here I think it really works - you couldn't really do it any other way, I don't think. Mikaela's voice is funny and she seems like she'll be a good character. I'm interested to see more of her - at school and such things, around her friends, etc. and find out more about her. I like that you've included flaws and not the usual ones either - she's demanding, seems a little selfish (expected, really, since she's Draco's daughter ;D), loyal, cunning, with very strong opinions. I like that - it's a nice change from quirky, clever and beautiful OCs with 'spunk' ;)

One thing about the voice, though - I know the italics are to show her thoughts, but since this is in first person voice, essentially, the whole story is in her voice and mind - it's like she's writing it down or telling it to you directly - so the italics seem unnecessary to me, tbh.

YES! An OC male lead who isn't a Potter/Weasley (mostly just not a Potter)! Thank God! Seriously, whenever I've seen people doing Next Gen stories involving Malfoy daughters, they nearly always end up with a Potter, so I'm so glad to see that it seems like Mikaela won't :D It's such a nice change - and makes your story a lot different to others already. Heehee, I don't think this is going to go particularly well - at least, not at first... though I'm curious to know if she'll find a way out of it or not? Since Narcissa is supposed to have made it watertight, that could be an interesting situation. I like that your using a family/friends connection to make the marriage, rather than a simple 'you will marry X'. Makes it more interesting ;)

Just a couple of quick things: you say that Narcissa and the other lady (Simoun?) are 'pureblood sisters born into different families', which, honestly, doesn't make much sense. Are they sisters? If they are, then they can't have been born into different families - also, be aware of the implications if they are sisters... secondly, a little Brit-pick here: in Britain we're not allowed to learn to drive until we're seventeen. Since this is set on her seventeenth birthday, she wouldn't be allowed to and wouldn't know how, either. You might want to change it to a broom or something, to make it work ;)

I really enjoyed reading this - so many questions and so few answers! Thanks for the swap!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hiii theree! Thankyou so much. And it will be revealed later that Mikaela's age in muggle land is different. She did get her car on her sixteenth birthday. It shows that Malfoys get what they want anyway.
Your review refreshed me, tbh.
We should totally do this some other time.
Thankyouu xx
Em


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