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Review:CloakAuror9 says:

I found that your banner was very eye-catching so I decided to pay a visit. :)

I think this is a great start to a story, better than what I could ever do anyway. Your descriptions were really well-done, though I found them a bit too overwhelming at some points of the chapter.

I found the idea of James's finger being nipped by his very own as a rude awakening was very funny. It probably wouldn't have been funny if it had happened to me too, though. :P The banter between James and Sirius was well-executed too, I thought it showed their bromance pretty well.

There are errors in the story that I think you could easily fixed and make the read more enjoyable for the reader. First, try to separate your dialogues by treating them as paragraphs. Giving them just a line break does make it a bit harder for them to read and it just doesn't look pretty as they look like a big chunk of text. And I saw a lot of missing commas and full stops at the end of dialouges. If you're a bit confused as to which goes where (like I sometimes am) then the hpff forums do offer a range of resources that authors like you could have a look at anytime. :) Otherwise, this was a nice read! Great start for a story and good luck!


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