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Review:Courtney Dark says:
Hey there!

Okay, so I am really liking the direction this story is taking, and I thought it was great that we met some new characters in this chapter. I think your description of Adele, especially was great. I already feel like I know what her character is going to be like, which is great. I'm also happy we've met Mikaela's friends-I'm hoping that we'll see more of them in future chapters, and learn more about their personalities and Mikaela's relationship with them.

I think I've said this before, but the flow in some parts of this chapter seemed a little disjointed and awkward to read-I think this is mainly because of the short sentences. Using short sentences can work really well, as well as you don't overuse them, which I think you might have done here. If I could make a suggestion, it would be to go back over this chapter and lengthen out some of those sentences, to make for a more pleasant read.

I also felt like some of Mikaela's thoughts in this chapter were a bit random and completely unrelated to what was going on. Sometimes this can be okay but again, I think you overdid it. Maybe if you combine some of these thoughts into paragraphs, rather than in separate lines, that could help?

God, I hope you don't think I sound too harsh! I honestly just want to help out the best that I can. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the moment when Mikaela finally meets Nicholas. I really want to know what their relationship will be like!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hey theree!
No I like critical approach.
I'm excited too!
I will edit this chapter very soon!
Love
Em


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