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Review:Melanie Eisler says:
Your stories are amazing! I love the first person POV. Your writing is descriptive and entertaining! I just love Natatlie. She is such a complex, round character. I also love that she follows Aristotle's beliefs on tragedies, the main character need to be complex and respectable, but also deeply flawed. If i could sugest one thing on your work it would be the layout of your writing. You need to make it more clear who is saying what. When you add things about another character right after dialogue, it makes it confusing to the reader as to who is speaking. This may not make a lot of sense but I'll try to provide an example using a direct quote from this chapter.

'Your Christmas present.' He turned to me and smiled.

Natalie is speaking in this quote but you make it confusing by putting Draco's reaction right after. This makes it hard to know who is speaking. An easy way to fix this is to make it clear who is speaking:

'Your Christmas present.' I replied. He turned to me and smiled.

By doing this you will make the story a lot less confusing for the reader. Other than that, LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

Author's Response: Awe thank you so so so much! I will consider that suggestion. Thanks for the review and I hope you keep reading xD

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