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Review:Bobby Dazzler says:
Hey, how's it going? Here to review for the BvB review chain! :)

So... I enjoyed this, it was a dark little insight into the thoughts of Tom who would grow up to be the Dark Lord. You've kept him malicious and sinister the whole way through, not unlike his adult character, and at the same time young enough to be considered innocent. You did a nice job with his characterisation at that point in his life, and the thoughts that would've been going through his head.

In keeping with that line of thought, you made it very obvious it was definitely a thought or reflection on events in his eyes, as at times the sentences seemed a little jolted, but I think you did that on purpose to make them sink in with the readers. What I mean by that is that at times there were a few extra commas etc where you could either have them or do without, but you chose to keep them to make the reader take more notice of the power behind his words, and think. Clever writing tactic but at times it seemed like they were placed in the story without necessarily needing to be there and it made some of the sentences a bit long and harder to read.

Overall, I think it was a cleverly written one shot and a good insight into Voldy's younger days, which by all accounts would've been absolutely fascinating, dontcha think? :) Bobby xx

Author's Response: It's going well :D

I'm glad that you enjoyed the insight into Tom, and growing up to be the most evil person ever! I'm glad that you liked his characterisation, and thought he was evil, yet innocent, as that's what I was trying to do!

Yeah that was the purpose of the sentences, as I wanted to make the reader view him in another light, and possibly more sympathetic one! I'll review the sentences, and see how I can make them easier reading.

I agree Voldy's younger days are fascinating, and that's partly why I wrote it, after blogging about how fascinating I found his childhood!

Thanks for the review,

Kiana:D


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