Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Bobby Dazzler says:
Hi AD, how's it going? Here for the review tag :)

So, Pansy, obvious, lol. Now that that's over and done with... You did a good job keeping it in first present tense the whole way through, and I'll forgive you that given the fact that Pansy was just so vain and obnoxious to everything else going on around her, because well, it's Pansy and that was the point of the story, to show things from her self-centred POV, so you did acheive that, though it did annoy me slightly just because it's Pansy lol.

There were a few grammar mistakes in this, unnecessary capitalization at times which really stood out and sentences that didn't flow as good as they could've due to extra commas. Maybe a little grammar revision wouldn't go astray? :)

I feel sorry for Draco about to walk in to a room where Pansy will unleash on him, as I'm sure in keeping with HBP canon (I guessed it was that year...), he's been busy doing work for Voldy, which did show through in your writing too. Nice background, but obvious, plot.

Overall, aside from a few niggling grammar issues, I thought it was a nice one shot of a very vain Pansy, which is exactly who she is :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing. Apologies for the delay in responding.

Yes, it's Pansy. I am glad you found the present tense done well, as that's something I tend to have trouble with. Haha I am sorry it annoyed you but pleased that I got the self-centred POV across.

Thanks for letting me know about the grammar mistakes and unnecessary capitalization and commas, I'll read through and try to fix this.

Yes, Draco is going to go through hell ;) I am glad you liked the background, and well the entire point of the story (and the challenge for which it was written) was to keep things as obvious as possible.

I am pleased you liked it overall, thanks.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 256
Submit Report: