I am finally here! It's taken me nearly a week but I finally made it. Oh and a good chapter it is too!
Your Bellatrix is just scary and amazing all in one. I think I've told you before that I actually really love her as a character. She's just crazy and always manages to surprise you by sinking to a new low - I just really enjoy reading about her. You've captured her perfectly in this; her devotion to Voldemort and the way she will do anything he tells her too is just spot on. The whole having control scene was so believeable as well as weird. Poor Lily and James, I'm absolutely terrified for them. Please bring on tomorrow soon - I need to check they are okay!
James trying to curse Sirius in his sleep made me laugh for some reason, I just thought the idea of it was quite funny. The whole scene with Lily and Sirius was really cute and sincere, you can see that Sirius isn't just friends with Lily because she's dating James. The fact he can come to her with his worries is really nice to see.
Poor Peter, you're really giving him as hard a life as any aren't you? This is the one story I've read him in when I really don't want him to do what he's eventually going to do. It's so sad to think of.
I loved how Lily was nervous because she didn't feel her bag was big enough to have fit everything in - regardless of the charm. I've felt like that many a time (minus the charm unfortunatly) so it was just a girly moment I think that made me smile to read. Then James with his 'I'll leave my robes here instead of wearing them to the wedding.' again made me smile so much. I'd love to see Petunia's face if he turned up in them.
I'm so happy Mr & Mrs Potter made an appearance in this chapter too. They're such amazing parents, they make people so welcome. I think you've done an amazing job of their characters. I'm interested in reading their reactions to the what's going to happen to James in the next chapter.
I just love how they are with Sirius. When Sirius said he'd been trying to keep James out of trouble for years I just couldn't help but laugh. I agree with Lily - it's so lovely to see how they treat him, and to know that it's probably down to a lot of their influence that Sirius is how he is. Oh William made me laugh when he told Lily to tell them if James was any less than a gentleman. Just perfect again.
Gosh - the Christopherson's is awful. I love how Alice just tells her parents like it is though. She's really come into her own in the last few chapters and I really love her for it! When Belle finally admitted she liked Sirius and expected Alice to have some reaction and she just said 'Well, that's nothing new' I actually laughed out loud. Then she turned all stern calling her 'Isabelle' and not letting her doubt Sirius. I think Alice is fast turning into one of my favourite characters and I'm getting sad thinking about her fate.
It's so sad when Belle thinks about the life she should have had - the line about the porcelain doll was perfect. I'm so happy that Lily and Alice became friends with her. The moment with Sirius was just lovely - I know it wasn't a romantic kiss or anything but it was something. You made us wait long enough for Lily and James so I'm hoping these pair step it up soon. I'm really rooting for them as a couple.
This just leads me back to something else I've been worrying about though: Belle's fate. We know what's eventually going to happen to Peter and then what happens to Lily and James leading on to what happens with Sirius. We know Remus is sort of okay, well at least for a little while, and we know Frank and Alice most definitely aren't. I'm really worried about Belle though. There are two options I can think of, neither of which I want to happen. I hope you've got a third planned - although I'm not sure how much I'll like that either.
There was only one line I thought didn't quite sound right - you may disagree. 'They said their goodbyes to Sirius as well, wishing him luck on his own excursion with Belle, before linking hands with Lily.' The whole sections kind of been focused on Lily and what she's thinking and doing, then this sentence sounds like it's coming from James because you said links hands with Lily. Only a small thing but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Amazing chapter once again though, there was so many aww moments and I've felt the need to comment on nearly every single one and leave you a mammoth of a review - apolagies for that haha! You really have really set things up for an explosive next chapter though! I actually can't wait for tomorrow!
PS: Do you think your banner will count as red for the review battle ;)
Author's Response: Lauren ♥ I can't tell you how happy I am that you just got busy and didn't decide you hated Before They Fall. Haha. I was seriously worrying. I'm a crazy person, clearly. And I hope your busy schedule has calmed down a bit!
I don't even know how I got the idea for Bellatrix's scene. Haha. I think it's one of my creepier ones, just because it does show a bit more of how mentally messed up she is. It's not even like she knows it either, which is what makes me love her so much. I'm so happy that my scary Bella hasn't sent you running for the hills :P
I'm so happy you mentioned being able to see that Lily isn't just friends with Sirius because she's dating James!!! I don't know why, but for some reason giving them their own friendship is really important to me.
Yes! with Peter! That's what I want. I want when you get to that point, you to really want him to stop even for himself. Not just because of James and Lily. How do you pick up on everything I'm trying to get across so well?? I swear, you read my mind.
I was trying to imagine what it would feel like to have all your overnight stuff packed, but not actually feeling like you're carrying it, and I decided it'd be a bit nerve wracking! I'm a terrible packer as it is, though :P
Writing Sirius's relationship with the Potters always gets me sort of emotional. It makes me wish so much that they'd been around when he was sent to Azkaban to defend him. And it makes it even more painful that anyone would have ever accused him of betraying James and Lily... because.. look at them! Him and James are absolutely brothers and gahh :(. Now I'm getting all sad.
I thought Alice's reaction to her Belle's remark was funny too. It's like, she was expecting something huge, but then... nope. Sorry Belle. You're not that secretive. Haha.
Ugh I wish I could tell you what happens to Belle! It's so hard for me not to give away all my secrets. Haha. But you're right, we know something will have to happen that makes sense on why Sirius doesn't seek her out or anything after he gets out of Azkaban. Unless I just crumble and go AU with everyone running away together and living happily ever after :P
You're absolutely right about that line. Thank you so much for pointing it out. I'm going to go back in and edit it right after I submit this response ♥
hahaha maybe it would count as red! But I think this chapter would count as 'embodying the traits of a gryffindor,' they're all brave, getting ready to face hard things, sticking loyal to each other during it... yep. Totally. Haha.
Thank you so much for this amazing review, Lauren ♥