Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:teh tarik says:
Hellooo Val :) So I know I said I'd take a look at your other story, but since you put this in my review thread quite a few days ago, I'll answer your request first. And apologies for the delay :(

Aaahh this is an incredibly gripping chapter. The focus has narrowed down to a few characters at a time, which is great because you can really examine the characters in detail. You've really written Xavier and Camille well here, showed how their relationship has gone sour after such a lovely ideal moment in the flashback, when both were still teenagers. And then there's Jean, who turns out to be a little creepy, especially from that last bit of the chapter. It's a very unsettling but wonderful way to end a chapter. And I think it's great that you show how some of these characters, despite fighting for the right cause are not perfect; they have their flaws, and darker aspects to their character.

You've definitely got a very well-paced story here; scenes with a greater amount of action are intertwined with slower, more dramatic and character-focused moments - there is a very nice balance in your story which makes it so easy to read. Also, many of the scenes are short and rather clipped, and this really sets a rather breathless pace for the story.

Like your first chapter, there are small descriptive details here and there, embedded in the narrative, which really add to the atmosphere or the setting of a scene. And of course, you've done a great job evoking different settings in this chapter, from the prison camp Simon is in to the lighthouse in Le Favre. Lovely use of tones and contrasts.

All in all, great work for this chapter. Your writing is wonderfully smooth and the prose is fluid, detailed but without being too overwhelming. You're a great writer so keep it up :)

-teh

Author's Response: Whoops, this review looked too nice sitting there unanswered and here we are a month later...

I am so happy you like Camille and Xavier, and sour is definitely the right term to describe their relationship now. The circumstances have got something to do with this change though!

Ah, how relieving that you find Jean creepy, that's the feel I'm aiming for, and apparently some people really like him, which worries me a little, although fundamentally he's not a bad person.

YOU COMMENTING ON THE SETTING, EEE. Because, let's face it, your description is the type I'd love to be able to write one day, so I had a complete squee moment there.

Thank you so much &hearts


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 353
Submit Report: