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Review:MissMdsty says:
Hello there!

I'm here with the review you requested. First of all, as I've told you already, you need to be careful with your main OC so that she doesn't become a Mary-Sure or an Anti-Sue.

As for the structure of the story, your use of short sentences makes it feel really fractured. For a narrative to be pleasant to the reader's eyes, it has to flow. You should also be careful to break up the longer pararaphs in sections.

Also, you should always check your spelling and make sure to use capital letters when writting names, cities, etc.

Good luck with the story!

Author's Response: Heyy
Yes I'll be careful.
Yes I will surely take your advise
Thankyouu :D
Emm


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